Lesson 4 - Everyone is a Green Lantern

            No, this title is not contradicting the last lesson.  Stick with me and you’ll understand.

Everyone who has ever picked up and read a comic book has formed some sort of opinion on who the most powerful superhero is.  Usually it comes up with friends in discussions like, “So, who would win in a fight, Wolverine?  Or Batman?”

Sure, those two are from two entirely different comic universes, but still the questions get asked.

But when it comes to “who’s the most powerful” I think many people would probably say Superman.  He’s one of the most well known and he is definitely one of the most straightforward in terms of powers and power levels.  Not many heroes can out punch Superman.

However, if I may offer my own opinion… without starting a war with comic book readers with differing opinions… I think the Green Lantern is the most powerful.  Or at the very least, has the potential to be the most powerful.

Hey hey, guys… simmer down.  I said it’s just my opinion.  You don’t have to agree.

Here is why I vote for him and a little Green Lantern back ground to boot.  The Green Lantern is part of a larger group of heroes known as the Green Lantern Corps.  They are basically a large group of space police that protect the entire universe.  It is broken into 3600 sectors (3599 actually, but that’s another story), with each sector protected by at least one (or more) Green Lanterns.  

The Green Lantern’s power comes from a ring he or she… or it… wears.  The ring channels energy though it, a green energy, and is controlled by the users will.  A Green Lantern is limited only by his or her will and imagination.

   Other than that, the ring user can literally do anything.

Anything.

If she can think of it, she can do it.  If he can imagine it, he can do it.  If they have the will, they can make it happen.

Fly.  Turn invisible.  Make objects out of energy.  Teleportation.  Phasing.  Simulate super strength.  Anything.

Manipulate matter.

Anything.

Manipulate reality.

Literally anything the user can both imagine and have the willpower to do.

Of course, there is the loophole.  It’s limited by the imagination and will.  And let’s face it.  Most of us are either pretty weak willed or completely lacking in imagination.

In reality, the Green Lantern is limited by how he or she sees or understands reality.  The Green Lantern is limited by his or her “world view.”

How does he see things?  Understand things?  What does that cause him to do?  How does it cause him to think?  What strategies will he devise because of that?  How will that guide his use of the power?

Let me give you some great Green Lantern examples.

Hal Jordan.  He’s the icon.  The Green Lantern by which all other Green Lanterns are measured.  He was an Air-force fighter pilot turned test pilot.  He has no fear.  He is focused.  He is efficient.  So when he uses his ring, this is how he uses it.  He keeps it simple.  He does what is needed to get the job done.  He likes to make boxes and spheres and hammers and such.  However, he also is the one Lantern that can do some of the more amazing things.  Turn invisible.  Phase through solid objects.  Create dimensional gateways.

He finds the most efficient way to do something, then does it.  No waste, no mess, no fuss. 

Kyle Rainer.  He was an artist.  Everything he makes is a work of art.  He makes comic book characters.  Anime robots.  Mecha.  Gun-toting bikini girls.  Ninjas.  And all of them are works of art and works in progress.  He never just does something and sticks with it.  Each construct is newer, better, more imaginative, constantly being made and remade.  He’s an artist, and he creates like an artist.  Never satisfied with what he’s done.

John Stewert.  The architect.  Everything he makes is precise.  And they have substance.  He makes something from the inside out.  It isn’t just a shell or an illusion of an object.  He makes it as though it has substance… as though it’s the real thing.  You could dissect it, and see the internal workings and constructs.  

Guy Gardner.  He’s the angry guy.  Raw.  When he uses the ring it doesn’t so much project energy as it leaks energy.  With him, the energy is like water in a dam waiting to burst through.  He doesn’t attack with creativity.  He attacks with power.  As much as he can, all the time.  No finesse.  No art.  Just raw power unleashed.

Kilawog.  He was an alien scientist.  He looks sort of like a humanoid hippo on steroids.  For some reason, his ring is the only ring that makes noise.  Of course, it’s not the ring, it’s him.  There is something about him, about the way he sees things and approaches things that causes that ring to make noise when no ones else does.  Everyone else goes silently about their business.  But not Kilawog.

There are many other Green Lanterns I could have talked about, but these are the main and most recognized Green Lantern characters.

It occurred to me that the significance of a Green Lantern wasn’t his or her ring and power, but his or her world view.

That is the one thing that’s different.  They wield an equal ring with the same power, same energy and same potential.  But each user is more or less successful or seemingly powerful or effective compared to each other.

All rings are created equal.

But not all users.

And as I was thinking about this, I realized that this is exactly how people are.  We are not limited by the possibilities around us.  Especially not in the modern age of globalization and global communication.  Instead, we are limited by ourselves.  By how we see the world.

We are limited only by our world view.

We are who we are in large part because of how we see the world.  Where were we raised?  Who raised us?  With what values were we raised with?  With what experiences were we shaped?

But more importantly, are we capable of seeing past any of that so that we can understand that all of our world views are limited and incomplete and therefore are limiting us?

That doesn’t make them bad or evil.  Just limited.  

Sometimes, we go a direction because someone told us we weren’t capable of going in another.  

It might not have been true.

My wife is a nurse.  When she was in nursing school there was an instructor who told her she would never make it as a nurse.  She wouldn’t be any good and she should just quit.

My wife could have listened to that.  Instead, she didn’t.  She graduated and has gone on to consistently be one of the most recognized and competent nurses in any department she has worked.  I say this not because she is my wife.  I say this because of the commendations she has received for nursing excellence as voted by both peers and patients.  The hospitals she has worked at have received numerous letters and messages from patients saying how much they loved her or how great she was with them and how much they appreciated her skill and attitude.

Of course, I think she’s great because she’s both kind and totally smokin’ hot.

But what do I know.

In the end, my wife could have experienced none of that success if she had listened to the person who was telling her what she couldn’t do, instead of believing in herself and what she could do.

She didn’t let that instructor shape her view of herself and therefore damage her world view.

Of course, my wife’s world view IS damaged.  But only in the same way all of our world views are damaged.

We only rise as far as we think we can.  If we didn’t know any different, we would go farther.  Be more.

You know why students in Korea and China and other Asian countries are often ahead of our students here in America?  Especially in areas of languages and math?  It’s because their school system pushes them harder sooner.

We see that and think, “oh, poor kids.”  Why?  Cause we all hated school.  

Do you think their kids see it that way?  Oh, they might hate school also.  But only for the same reasons we did.  They don’t realize they are being pushed harder.  They see it as normal.  

A person will go as far as they are expected to go.  We then draw a line at that expectation and try our darndest to not go past it. 

It’s a shame, really.  Because we are capable of so much more.  Of being, so much more.

All it would take is for us to realize that we are all like Green Lanterns and that the only limit is that which we place on ourselves.

Lesson 3 - Dio Was Not Ozzy

Well, well.  It seems I almost forgot to post today.  In fact, I think, technically, I did.  It is now tomorrow.  (i'll let you work out that math...)  But, as promised, even if late, here is my next post...

As the 1960’s became the 1970’s, the rock music scene was changing faster than supermodels at a fashion show.  The music was becoming harder and darker.  A number of bands were popping up all at the same time that were revolutionizing and impacting the direction that hard rock and heavy metal would take for decades to come.

One of the bands at the forefront of this was a young English band known as Black Sabbath.  Tony Iommi was changing the way metal was played on guitar with his single string guitar riffs, and Ozzy Osbourne was becoming a voice of metal so distinctive that it would be recognized with enthusiasm and awe by almost 40 years worth of heavy metal fans.

Of course, Ozzy’s onstage antics didn’t hurt his fame and infamy.  You try biting the head off of a bat on stage in front of thousands of people and see if you get remembered.

I bet you will.

Throughout the 70’s, Ozzy and Black Sabbath were one of the standards by which all metal was judged.

Then, as the 70’s were coming to a close, Ozzy decided it was time to go out on his own and make a name for himself.  This left a void in Black Sabbath that needed to be filled if they wanted to continue being a force in the world of heavy metal.

In came a man by the name of Ronald Padavona.  Or as the world knew him, Ronnie James Dio.  It is said he changed his stage name to “Dio” after mafia member Johnny Dio.  Prior to his stint with Black Sabbath, Dio was modestly to little known.  Most people do not know that Dio had been a force in rock-n-roll since the late 50’s.  

I for one had been oblivious to that fact.

But once he became the front man for Black Sabbath, he was immediately shoved to the front of the line.  Fronting for Sabbath was possibility one of the greatest honors in the metal world at the time.

And he did a great job.  His first album was a huge success.  The second album was also well received, even if not quite as successful.

Now, let me ask you.

How many of you can tell me off the top of your heads a single song Dio did with Black Sabbath?

Probably some of you can.  They were good.  But most people can’t.  When people think of Black Sabbath, they always think of Ozzy Osbourne.  They think of Iron man.  War Pigs.  Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.  And half a dozen other hugely successful Ozzy-era Black Sabbath songs.

In the end, it didn’t matter how good Dio was, he wasn’t Ozzy.

And as long as he tried to fill the shoes of Ozzy, it was always going to be that way.

I won’t say this is why Dio left Black Sabbath in 1982.  I have no idea why he did.  But I will say this.  The moment he stopped trying to fill Ozzy’s shoes and Ronnie James Dio decided to be Ronnie James Dio, he became one of the biggest legends in heavy metal history.

When a person thinks of Ronnie James Dio, they think of songs like Holy Diver, and Rainbow in the Dark.  Songs done by Dio when he left Sabbath and ventured out with his own band known simply as “Dio.”  

What people don’t think of are songs like Heaven and Hell, which was the title track from his first album as front man for Black Sabbath.  Even though that album was one of the best selling albums Black Sabbath had ever released until that time.

It was a success, but it’s not where his fame lies.

Dio became a success and an icon when he stopped being Ozzy, and started being Dio.

Of course, in his case, it was simply a career and business move, and the opportunity of a life time to take over for Ozzy.  To turn that down would have been insanity for someone in his position.

But as a metaphor, it’s an interesting thing.

The harder we strive to be someone else, the farther away we go from who we need to be.

And that can be dangerous.

Do you know what Super-oos are?  If you don’t, let me tell you what you missed.

Super-oos were Under-oos, except they were super-hero themed.

Wait, you don’t know what Under-oos are either?

*sigh*

Ok, they were a brand/type of under-wear.  Super-oos came with a pair of under-wear, thermal pants and long sleeve thermal shirt that were all super-hero themed.

I had a pair of Superman ones.  The pants were blue, the shirt was blue with the red and yellow “S” on the front, and the underwear were red with the yellow waist band.  However, instead of wearing the underwear like underwear, I’d put them on the OUTSIDE of the pants, just like Superman.  Then I’d tie a red blanket around my neck and run around that way.

Hmm.  I didn’t clarify.  This was when I was a little kid.  This was not last week.

You can’t prove otherwise.

…

So, I would run around with my Super-oos and my red blanket cape because I wanted to be Superman.  I would then proceed to jump off the stairs at our house in an attempt to fly.  Because, hey, I had a cool red cape and Super-oos, I should be able to fly.

It seems our carpet was apparently made of Kryptonite.  My parents said it was green shag carpet.  But I knew different.  I knew it was the reason why every time I would jump off the stairs I’d come down crashing at the bottom.  And I knew that our Kryptonite shag carpet was the reason why it hurt every time.

Actually, I knew that the reason I couldn’t fly was because I wasn’t actually Superman.  Not that I thought he was real.  But you know… kids…

The problem was that I wasn’t Superman.  And pretending to be Superman wasn’t going to make me fly any better or crash any softer.  Eventually, trying to be Superman was going to end in disaster.  To avoid that, it became apparent that I needed to stop trying to be Superman and start trying to be me.

Well, that’s not true.  I think there was a Spiderman phase immediately there after…

As long as I try to be like someone else, I will never reach the potential of who I can be or who I am suppose to be.  I will forever stunt my growth by exploiting the weaknesses in who I am and ignoring the strengths of who I am.  I will never explore my talents, my own joys, the things that bring me fulfillment because I will be too busy trying to be Superman, or Spiderman, or Ozzy.

I will never discover who I am.  Mostly, because I won’t be looking.  I will run around in my life with a giant hole where my identity should be and never be the true triumph of a person that I could be.  I will never develop as a person.  I will never be comfortable as a person.  I will always be looking outside for fulfillment.  And as we have already discussed, that’s a pretty dangerous endeavor.

Ultimately, I will never be whole.  I can’t try to be Superman because I am not Superman.

And neither are you. 

Lesson 2 - Things I Learned From Porn

Hello everyone.

Welcome to this evenings post.  I'm glad you checked in.  However, before you proceed, this post comes with a warning.  (this is a serious warning, not my usual idiotic sarcasm)

I'm actually pretty nervous about tonights post.  I believe I once promised complete honesty, so I can't back out now.  This post contains themes and details that most people will, and should, consider offensive.  It is not done for the sake of shock value, but in order to convey and demonstrate an number of ideas and points all at once.  As the title of this blog suggests, I do use some graphic imagery from pornography as an illustration for furthering the thought.  If this offends you, I truly apologize.  It is not my intention.  However, I hope you will see past anything in here that you think is "unnecessary" and recognize the greater point and principle.  Because, while it may not be necessary for you, I assure you, it will be necessary for others.

You have been warned.  Now, feel free to continue on to the post.

       Perhaps I should qualify a couple things first and answer any questions I suspect might be bouncing around your perceptive brains.

Yes, I’ve seen porn.  No, I don’t watch porn anymore.  Yes, my wife knows.  Yes, it’s been a long time.  No, it hasn’t been long enough.  Yes, I think porn is a very bad idea on almost every level I can think of off the top of my head.

That doesn’t mean, however, that I still don’t want to look.  There are a couple things all you ladies out there need to understand if you don’t already.

Men want to have sex with everything all the time.

We aren’t nearly as discriminating as we would like people to believe.  The criteria are basically this.  Is the lady willing and is she able?  Beyond that it’s just subjective details that largely don’t matter.

Sure, we men want you to think that we have standards and tastes.  And that’s because we do know better and want to make good decisions.  We aren’t all evil jerks.  However, that doesn’t mean the desire to mate with anything and anyone isn’t there in some way.

Is she awake?

Check.

Is she still alive?

Check.

Are either of those optional?

…

Perhaps that’s an exaggeration.  My point is that men are biologically driven to crave sex endlessly.  Fortunately, most of us do our best to use our better judgment and understanding of appropriate behavior and so forth and etc.

Unfortunately, what we know about any of that is driven by culture.

For example.  Let’s take the porn culture.  Porn would have all men believe that every woman is just dying to have you mate with them.  Porn wants you to believe that every woman has no greater desire than perform oral sex on you, and even more, that doing so gives her some sort of fantastic pleasure.  Porn wants you to believe that women crave to have your 12 inch man part (let’s not kid ourselves.  That’s not me OR you) crammed hard and fast into their happy place with the enthusiasm and force of a jackhammer.  Porn would have you believe that every woman is drooling with desire for you to enter in through the out door.  After which, porn would like you to think that after your penis has been in their anus, they want to resume oral sex and are really looking forward to having you ejaculate all over their face or breasts or buttocks.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about and think I’m being disgusting or am insane, this is the regular formula of a standard issue porn scene.  I haven’t just made it up.  For those of you who do know what I’m talking about, please inform those who don’t that I didn’t just make that all up.

I’m pretty sure all you women who read this and didn’t throw the book away, are all thinking, “that’s awful and, well, awful.”

I’m pretty sure all you guys who read that are thinking, “Ya, no female who isn’t getting paid large sums of money is ever going to want to be a part of that.”  At which point you sighed inside your mind with a twinge of disappointment.

Let’s be honest here.  I went to college.  So did you most of you men.  You hung with other guys and talked about women and porn and how women relate to porn.

Of course, most of us realized this wasn’t reality.  I don’t know a single guy who has ever had a proctologic exam and walked out of the office going “Wow, I can’t wait to do that again.  Maybe next time he’ll make it last for 20 minutes or so.” 

That’s because it’s unpleasant in every way.

Now, guys, how many of you have thought or fantasized about what it would be like to have porn style anal sex with your wife?  How many of you have actually asked?

Of course you didn’t.  We know it’s ridiculous.  And yet… porn style sex appeals to every part of the biological need to have sex till you pop.  Because none of that is uncomfortable for you as a man.  It’s the woman who’s taking all the abuse.  And in the movies she seems to like it just fine.

And people think porn starlet’s can’t act.

See, even though we know better, there is a part of us that wants it to be true.  Yes, most of us guys would never, EVER, even harbor the idea of asking your wife or significant other to actually go through that.  We know it would be relational suicide AND we know that’s its not really loving sex.  

There is no love there.

Just sex.  And not even kind sex.

Do I think the porn industry is trying to make people think this stuff normal?

No.  At least not all of them.  The reason they make the movie is because it isn’t normal.

But we buy into it anyway.

Let’s be clear, though.  This isn’t about porn.  Or sex.  There are many non-pornographic movies that promote the exact same idea that women are ravenous sex machines who want nothing more than for you to fulfill that need for them.

It’s not true.

What this is about is what forms the ideas of “need” and “desire” in us.

You ever heard college guys tell you “party stories?”  There are tons of variations, but they largely go like this.

“Dude, I couldn’t remember a f___ing thing!  I was sooo wasted!  I woke up in puddle of piss, I was elbow-deep in a squirrel, and I had no pants on.  It was f___ing AWESOME!!!”  (he said in a big frat-boy commando voice.)

Really?  It was awesome?  By what definition?  Because it’s a funny story?  Because your head pounded for two days afterward?  Because, you know, you can’t even remember how it all happened?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call “fun.”

You see, we define happiness and fun and joy and fulfillment by the definitions proposed to us.  We do it, not because they are necessarily accurate, but because we don’t know ourselves and hey, they wouldn’t lie to us, right?

Because TV never lies.

Or books.  Or movies.  Or church.  Or school.  Or anyone.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like movies.  I love action sci-fi and comic books and all that.  But that doesn’t mean I have any illusion that I’m going to go out and punch my fist through a brick wall just because I saw the alien cyborg ninja mutant do it.

At this point I can feel you all going, “Yes, we know.  We aren’t morons, you know.”

Fair enough.  These are exaggerated examples that only apply to the more… “exceptional” among us.

But we all do this in smaller ways.  We see a shirt on a movie star and think this is what I need to look good.  Or maybe it’s a hair cut.

Marketing agencies make their living on the idea that this is true.  We internalize what we see and hear, whether we realize it or not, and incorporate it into thought and action.  They call it “advertising.”

You see a movie with a cool car in it… guys… and you are like, “Man… I’d drive that.”  And there is nothing wrong with that.  I’m a gear head myself.

Tell me, do you think there is a reason why car commercials and magazine ads for cars often have females either selling, driving, or standing next to the car?

I mean, what more could a guy want?  A fast car and sex.  Give him some good food and you have the trifecta of male desire.

Of course, it’s not just movies and TV and magazines.  It’s everywhere.  People we meet.  They have that certain something.  That quality that makes them seem smart or sophisticated.  And you hang on every word.  You spend your time with them making them your friend.  Eventually you start to act like them.  Become more like them.  You enjoy being with them.

It’s because we see something in them that we wish we saw in ourselves.  Maybe it’s smarts.  Maybe it’s likability.  Maybe it’s joy.  But we think that if we can be like this person who I like, others will in turn like me.  Then I’ll be happy.

It is us defining happiness by external criteria.

Unfortunately the external criteria are nothing but superficial stimuli.  It doesn’t make us happy.  It’s not true happiness.  It’s not realistic or even real at all.  It’s an illusion of reality.

It’s nothing but porn.

Lesson 1 - Did I Mention That I'm an Idiot?

         I know, I know.  I shouldn’t say that about myself (he said, referring to the title of this chapter).

Unless you think it’s true, then I suppose you are ok with me saying it.  Shame on you.

=)

Isn’t it a crazy world where I can type an emoticon into a book and everyone understands and doesn’t find it weird?

Anyway.

I’m an idiot.  But in the same way that most people are idiots.

Hold on.  Please step away from the instruments of ritual stoning.

Let me tell you what I mean before you all decide to harm me.  It’s not as bad as it sounds.

Remember when we were kids?  Well, not you and me specifically.  I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you.  At least, not all of you.  But when we were kids, it was easy to go out and have fun.  We would play games and wrestle and race each other around, jump our bicycles (yes, I’m listing male biased things.  I’m an idiot, remember?).  And it was all fun.  But you know what was even more fun?  Remember what made it even better?

When we won.

When I ran faster, biked faster, jumped farther and saved Princess Lea first.

Don’t ask about that last one.

It wasn’t just about having fun, it was knowing that I had fun better than everyone else.  That I was better.

Or smarter.

Yes, it’s childish.  Yes, it’s pointless.  Yes, we still felt really good about it.  Fortunately, we all grew up.  We learned this isn’t the way of things.  The way of the force.  That life is about something more.

And do you know what changed?

Absolutely nothing.

We still feel better when we win.  When we are proved smarter.  When we are correct.  When the other person was wrong.  We relish when the other guy is wrong.

In the end, even though we now know better, we still find our best joy in knowing we are better than everyone else around us.

It’s a bit pathetic, yes?

And THIS… is why most people, including me, are idiots.  Because we know better and still use this mindset to feel better about ourselves.  

How dumb is that?

It’s like having your car not start, getting out, and kicking the right rear tire.  Then getting back in and finding the car still doesn’t start, at which point you get out and kick the tire again.  At which point you find out the car still won’t start.

Ok, I know.  No one would ever do that.  That’s just stupid.  Unless you have, and then, um, I’m sure it was useful… somehow…

But my point is, it’s a useless and pointless way of fixing things.  What was it that someone said was the definition of insanity?  Something about doing the same thing over and over and yet expecting different results?

If being seen as better and smarter makes us feel better, if making others look less than us brings us joy, if it fixes us, then why do we keep having to do it again and again?  Why do we still feel broken later?

Why do we still feel like we have yet to achieve?  If that method was working, we would already HAVE achieved.

All we are doing is kicking the tire.

And kicking the tire hurts.  Have you ever actually done that?  Kick a car tire?  I have, when I was younger, and theoretically more stupid.  I was curious.  I’d seen people do it on TV all the time.  Which, as we know, is the most brilliant reason to do anything.  But I kicked the tire anyway only to discover it was much more solid that I had anticipated.  You know, it’s rubber and filled with air, how solid could it be?

Very, as it turns out.  My toe was sore for days.  There was zero satisfaction from that.  I decided after that, that kicking tires was a pointless act.  It didn’t actually accomplish anything.  It definitely didn’t give me any long term joy.  Or short term for that matter.  As it turned out, there was no point.

It’s funny how we as people seem to be attracted to pointless behavior.

I was watching a video the other day on this website that amuses me.  This guy let his friends shoot him in the junk with a potato gun.

Twice.

And my first thought was, “Why would you do that?!?”, closely followed by, “This guy is an idiot.”  Of course, there are tons of those videos around, right?  Guys hitting each other over the heads with planks of wood just to do it.  Hitting each other in the bean bag with bats just to see who will become sterile first.  Just to see how tough they are.

Why do we care how tough we are as men?  Do we think anyone else cares how tough we are?  Do we think they will be impressed?  Maybe we think it will impress the ladies.  But the truth is, it almost never does.  The only person it impresses is us.  

I’m not sure women care how tough they are.  However, they do compete in different ways.  Is she thinner than me?  Does my bum look fatter than hers?  It’s still a competition.  It’s just a different competition.

For some reason, we humans seem to think life is a competition.  Oddly, we have no idea what we are competing for or against.

We are living our lives, going through our days, and most of the time, we don’t even know why.  Yes yes, I know.  We are getting our paycheck so we can put food on the table and diapers on our kids.  But that is always going to be true.  That doesn’t bring us fulfillment.

Again, hold off on the angry responses for just a moment.  I completely believe that being a good parent or spouse or whatever can bring a great sense of meaning and purpose and even some fulfillment. 

What I am talking about is complete fulfillment.  At some point, even the wonders of mommy and daddyhood aren’t enough.  As any mommy and daddy will tell you, they love being parents and they love their kids and they would never give it up.  But at some point in their parenting career they realized there was still a desire for something else.  They realized that there was something still missing.

Some of these people have affairs.  Others go through some version of a midlife crisis.  Some of them change their career.  Some of them just walk away from it all.

Others simply end their life.

And it all happens because they don’t really know what it is that’s missing and they don’t know how to find it.  This is also how self destructive behavior sometimes starts.  We start looking for that one thing that makes it all better, and we are willing to try anything.

Literally, anything.

Of course, if we are smart enough, we learn quickly that “anything” is often a bad idea.  Unfortunately we are rarely smart enough.  

That’s because most of us are idiots.