Friday, January 23, 2015

Change Hurts

Like many people hovering around the halfway point of their life, I have been redoubling and expanding my efforts to be healthy.  It's not because I wasn't already putting forth effort, it's because I want to do a better job of it.

In the last few years my wife and I have been kicking our respective butts to stay in shape.  We've been using a strong combination of running, weight training, and improved nutrition in order to do so.  And, with the exception of the occasional misstep, we've really seen some good improvement.

However, it hasn't been without flaws.

When one starts making progress in their workout routine, you need to start changing things up so that you don't plateau.  As you do this, you start finding the things that work as you tweak your routine.

This is all good, except that as you start to make gains, you can get caught up in the gains and miss the problems that are creeping up on you.

For example...

By the mid point of this last year, I had really been putting on some muscle.  My abs could more or less be counted visibly, my man-boobs had become primarily man-like and less boob-like.  My shoulders, arms, and legs were all taking a more pleasing shape.

However, what I had forgotten to take care of was maintaining proper flexibility.  I had been doing lots of stretching, but as my workouts were getting longer, I would catch myself not doing my stretching and yoga.  What resulted was that, as I put on more muscle, my body started to tighten up.  I didn't even notice until I was already there.  

I realized it one day when I noticed how much harder it was to keep good posture.  I had worked hard to regain my posture after I'd had some surgery a number of years back.  But suddenly it had seemed that standing straight was really hard.  

This was because my abs had become so tight it was causing me to curl forward.  It's a common problem in weight trainers.  Their shoulders start to curve inward and they start to have that muscular hunch in their back.  It's a flexibility issue.  All the front muscles are strong and tight and begin to bend you forward like a macaroni noodle.

This is really not good.

Well, after a string of injuries in the second half of the year, I determined to re-evaluate my workout and go in a better direction.

This year, I've been biasing my workout toward Yoga.  I am still doing strength training, but the Yoga has strength building as part of the moves even as it is increasing flexibility.  I'm also doing a lot of combo moves that work multiple parts of the body all at once.

Crawl push-ups.  Straight arm planks.  Straight arm side planks.  (those last two suck, by the way.)  Jump squats.  (those suck even worse.  I did 125 of them today.  I may never walk again.)  But I'm also doing things like modified warrior's pose with a twist for butt, side, and groin flexibility and hamstring and quad strength.  Sun salutation for hamstring, back, and butt flexibility.  Cobra pose for abdominal flexibility and spinal release plus arm strengthening.

This is just a few of the things I'm doing besides running and such.

And I'm seeing the difference almost immediately.

So, I must be feeling great then, right?

Not exactly.

Here is the problem.  It's not actually a problem, but it feels like it in the short term.  The problem is, my body was so out of whack, that it had done all manner of weird things to compensate.  But as I stretch, especially with cobra pose, the increased space in my spine as my core muscles relax and lengthen back to optimal size begins to do it's work.  And by "do it's work" I mean, my whole spine starts to loosen up.  And when this happens, things start popping and shifting and realigning.

I'll feel something move, then I'll feel three other places move in close succession.  And then, later in the day, I start hurting in weird places.  Not because I've damaged anything, but because I have freed things that have been locked together.  I have created an environment where my body can change it's position and move back to a better form.  And it hurts!  There is a lot of internal resistance happening.  I loosen up one spot, and I realize that two others are now out of position because their position was dependent upon the one thing I just fixed.  So, they now have to shift.  But every time something shifts I find another spot that needs to move.

And so the dominos of change fall.

You find that each problem was masking another problem and the whole process becomes painful.  Good, but painful.

Over time the pain disappears as the problems fix themselves and soon you find that all is, more or less, right in your world.

This is the great truth about change.  It hurts.  We want to hold on to what IS very tightly, even if it is harming us.  This is because we have found a balance, even if it is a precarious one.

Change undoes that shaky balance.  It forces us to let go of the things we held to so fiercely for so long. It forces us to experience something new and that transition process can be very painful.  But eventually, a strange thing happens.  One day we realize that we don't hurt anymore and we start realizing that our life has improved dramatically and we ask ourself a very probing question.

Why didn't we do it all sooner?






Friday, January 2, 2015

The Real Pretenders.

Happy New Year!

Sooo, the holidays... they happened.  That's always something.  But now it's 2015.  So, that also happened.

Do you know what my favorite "holiday" is?  And please don't read to much into this, but it's actually Halloween.  You know why?

I love costumes.  It's not the candy, or the "religious" history behind it good, bad, or otherwise.  I just always thought costume parties were super fun.  Getting together with friends and goofing off while pretending you are something else.  Or just dressing up as a walking joke where your costume is both the joke and the punchline.

In that sort of setting, it's all fun and games and good times had by all unless you were the guy who thought he was too cool to play along because "it's dumb and your dumb and costumes are dumb but I came anyway so I could tell you how dumb it is and be hateful."

Him?  He probably should have just stayed home.

But once you get outside of that type of setting and back into "real life", all the pretending becomes problematic.  With your friendships it's a bad idea.  In your marriage?  Definitely not smart.  At your job?  That one will catch up with you as well.  In real life, unless you are an actor, pretending will destroy you or someone else eventually.

Do you know why people hate Christians?  There are tons of great examples of why people hate Christians.  It's not all people, of course.  But of the people who hate Christians, there are tons of stories that illustrate their justified positions.  But the real reason that it boils down to?

Pretending.

Let me explain.

Christians are not the problem that causes people to hate other Christians and, by extension, God.  It's people pretending to be Christians who cause these problems.

Those of you who have experienced this phenomenon might argue that this describes most "Christians".  

Maybe you are right.

But this distinction matters.  Anyone can claim to be a part of something but not actually represent what it is suppose to be.  Christians who claim to be like Jesus, but instead find ways to hate everyone and everything.  They like the club, but not the character.

The problem with Christians is that they aren't all Christian.  This is a truth that needs to be accepted by both Christians themselves and by the people who have been damaged by fake Christians.  Those fake Christians do not represent all of us, even if we all get defined by their unacceptable attitudes and actions.

God is Love.  Therefore a Christian should also be Love.  Love is the very nature of who God is, therefore a Christian's nature should also be that.  Love is patient, kind, merciful, forgiving, and it keeps no record of wrongs.  It hopes, it endures, and it never fails.

People on the other hand... they fail.

A true Christian is one who embodies Love.  Love does not have to agree with someone in order to accept that someone.  Love does not have to agree with another beliefs in order to respect the one who believes them.  Love does not have to agree with another's views in order welcome them with open arms into their lives.

A true Christian would do all those things, and not be threatened by the difference.  If a Christian is threatened by another's beliefs, it's because that Christian isn't very confident in them self or their belief so instead they shift the focus to the other person and convince others that this other person is the real problem so that no one will look back on that particular Christian and find his or her flaws.

These fake Christians have destroyed so many lives for this very reason.  Pretending to be a Christian doesn't make you one anymore than pretending to be a banana makes you one.

You can be a Christian and be friends with someone who is gay.  You can love them, give them hugs, share your home with them, laugh with them, and in general make them a part of your life.  Whether or not you agree with them or their life is completely irrelevant.  If you can't be confident enough in your God and your beliefs to be with someone who is different than you, then it says more about you than it does about them or your God.

Do you think that person who has spent a lifetime confused over their identity needs one more person judging them for their own uncertainties?  Christians are not the judges of the world.  God judges.  Period.  It's not my job.  It's not your job.  Stop doing it.  We are to love.  God will sort out the rest.  We are not the convincers or convictors of the world.  God is.  He will sort that all out.  

You want to show someone God?  Love them.  God is love.  You want them to know God?  Represent a God who cares for them so deeply that they wouldn't want to do anything else BUT know Him.  Because that person who has just finished their gender reassignment surgery has suffered whether or not we wish to recognize it.  They have been judged and ridiculed and have lost friends and family over it.  Whether or not their choice to have surgery was the correct one or not is irrelevant.  We can't change what is.  We can only control our own choice.  That choice is simple.  Will we be a true Christian and show complete and selfless Love without demands or conditions?  Or will we sit in judgment on them proving for certain that we were never Christian to begin with?

May it's not sexual identity.  Maybe it's drugs.  Maybe it's addiction.  Maybe it's gambling addiction.  Maybe it's pornography and sex addiction.  Maybe it's depression.  Maybe it's suicidal tendencies.  Maybe it's any number of other "unacceptable Christian taboos".  But therein lies the issue.  There in lies the lie.  It's not about the taboo.  It's about the people.  And no person is unacceptable.  We don't have to be something we are not in order to accept someone who is.

Hatred and bigotry is a lie.

Love is truth.

God doesn't hate you.  If God hated everyone who had a messed up life, He'd have to hate everyone.  But God doesn't hate everyone.  God is Love.

God has declared all people worthy.

You don't believe me?  I can understand that.  I'll break it down like this.  Perfection does not equal worth.  We are not worthy because we are perfect.  We are all imperfect.  But our perfection or imperfection has zero bearing on our value.

We have value because of Love.  God loves.  He loves us so much He experienced death for us.  He says that He loves us with an everlasting love that has no height, nor depth, nor width that can ever be measured.  It has no end.

God would not sacrifice himself or anything of His for something that has no value.  That which has value has worth.  You have value to God, therefore you have worth to God, therefore you are worthy.

If you are gay, you are loved by God and are worthy in His eyes.

If you are an atheist, you are loved by God and are worthy in His eyes.

If you are an addict, or a murder, or a cheater, or a thief, or any other frowned upon thing, you are loved by God and are worthy in His eyes.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and if they do, they don't know God.  They probably aren't true christians.  They are the pretenders, because whether or not the details of your lives are perfect, and they probably are not, you are Loved by God and are worthy in His eyes.

That is the truth.  That is true Christianity.  That is true Love.  

Don't let the pretenders drive you from God.  They have no power over you.  They are powerless unless you give them power.  Don't hate God because some pretender hated you.  They do not represent Him.  They may have taken His name, but they did not take His Character.

Whoever you are, give God another chance.  I didn't say "church" or "christians" or "prayer meeting", etc.  Just God.  Start there.  Work that part out and then move on from there.  Learn to know who God is.  Figure that out.  Let that lead your path.  Let love lead your path.

Good night.