The "It's Been Too Long and, eep, It's Thanksgiving, No Wait That's Over" Blog.

Sooo...

Things got busy.  Super busy.  Really a lot busy.

October was really bad.  The first half of November was only slightly less bad.  Then I was gone.

But now I'm back!  (...hollow breeze... crickets...)

*sigh*

How about that Thanksgiving, eh?  I bet that was something.  A day where we practice gluttony and then lapse into a coma for an hour or so.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

We spent our Thanksgiving in Canadia (Canada, I know.) and New York City.

"New York City?!?  Get a rope."

(...hollow breeze... crickets...)

Apparently I was the only one who remembers that salsa commercial.  I digress.

Yes, we went to Niagara Falls on the Canadian side.  It's pretty impressive there.  Both the falls and Canada.  There is so much water going over the falls.  It's truly impressive.  The hotel we stayed at upgraded us just 'cause and we wound up on the 15th floor, or so, with an open and unobstructed view of the falls.  

It was pretty great.

I also discovered that everyone in Canada is really friendly.  I say "everyone" as if I met every last Canadian.  But everyone we did meet was really nice.  Even the border agent.  He was really nice.  He wasn't even phased when he asked me if we were carrying knives and I said, "yes."  I have a small pocket knife that my dad gave me.  I keep it in my pocket.  Like ya do.  He asked me how big and what kind, I told him, and he was all smiles and charm.

Even the signs in Canada are nice.  They not only tell you the speed limit, but they tell you the fines for different speeds.  Let's say the speed limit is 100kph (kilometers per hour, because Canada.).  There are regular signs that tell you what the fine is for 120kph, 140kph, and 160kph.  And THEN, there is another set of signs that tell you the penalty that will go on your drivers record for the same speed sets.  "Demerits" as they are called and are measured in points.  I didn't ask, but I assume after so many points, they take your license, take your car, take your horse, shoot your dog, and then write a country song about it.

Na, they wouldn't do that.  It's Canada.  They are super nice.

The road quality was very nice.  The radio stations were nice.  The people on the stations were nice.  Their news stations were informative.  Their music was American, but with a side of Canadian.  I did hear some stuff I've never heard before.  And it was nice.

I decided that I could probably live and be very happy in Canada.  No, I know nothing about their politics and laws and such.  I'm sure I would check that all out before I made that decision.  But still, a really nice place with really nice people.

Then we crossed over into New York.

The border agent was a few notches down from "cheerful".  Not rude, but not not rude either (is that even a thing?).  But he didn't ask me about my knife, so, I guess that was good.  All he wanted to know was if we had bought anything and were now transporting it across the line.  I told him we bought a magnet.  For our refrigerator.  He didn't exactly go for his weapon, but I could sense that he wanted to.  I smiled, he grunted, then sent us merrily on our way.

Which was when I noticed the road quality suddenly go to hades in a hand basket.  Potholes the size of sinkholes.  The exit we needed was actually closed, which made us drive a bit through Buffalo, and the part that we skirted was significantly not clean.  I wouldn't say "sketchy", but I wouldn't say "not sketchy" either (still not sure that's a thing.).

Eventually we made it into NYC.  That's New York City for the uninitiated.  And let me tell you, it's pretty impressive.  I live in Chicago.  The city, not some suburb there of.  I'm used to sky scrapers and urban goodies, but Manhattan is dense.  And tall.  And large.

We stayed with some family peeps.  They live up high in a building with a view.  It was nice.  We spent three days walking Manhattan.  We walked over 35 miles in three days.  No, that's not an exaggeration.  That's an actual number.  The male family peep was tracking steps and gps-ing the journey for health purposes.  We walked 15 miles one day, 13 the next, and then 7 or so the third day.

I won't lie.  I was beat.  I slept really well every night.  

We hit pretty much all the major touristy thingies.  Our familial peeps were fabulous tour guides.  And even better, they knew were all the good food was.  More importantly, they knew where some of the good pizza was.  Now as I said, I'm from Chicago.  We know pizza.  But so does New York.  You don't go there to "eat pizza."  You go there to "get a slice."  And, you fold it in half, shove it in your pie hole, and like it.

Good stuff.

But you know what impressed me the most the whole time we were there?  It was how connected our family peeps were to their city and to the people.  They have taken the time to know their people and community.  They go places and chat up strangers.  They get involved.  They do community service projects.  And, whenever they'd see a homeless person, they would chat him up, learn who he was, find out his name, and then help him.

That's when I realized something.  I may be a "theologian".  A preacher man.  But those people were better Christians than me.

When I find myself not wanting to be bothered by people, they go out of their way to take the time.

Do we live what we say we believe, or is it just words?

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with this thought in my head.  As Christians we talk about proclaiming God's majesty.  Or His glory.  Or His kingdom.  Or His name.  And as literalist humans, we file that under "words about stuff".  But to proclaim a kingdom or a name is about proclaiming the IDEALS of that kingdom or that person who's name you proclaimed.  And if we are going to proclaim it, it's suppose to be because we not only believe it, but it's what we stand for.  It's who we are.

Not coincidentally, to "proclaim" something by definition is not only about words.  The word "proclaim" also means "to show."

So if I am going to proclaim the Kingdom of God and His Name, that means I need to be actually showing it to people.  Living it.  Being it.

By it's very definition, Proclamation is about Imitation.  There is no proclamation without imitation.

Who we are transcends our location and vocation.  We either represent and act upon a higher ideal or we don't.  Everything else is just talk and wasted time.

What is it that you believe and, more importantly, what are you doing about it?  Just as importantly, what does how you live say about what you believe?  And I'm not talking about rules or laws.  I'm talking about character and compassion.  Love and integrity.  Selflessness and the need of people.

I hope you were inspired, some how, to look closely at yourself this Thanksgiving.  Not only to see what things you are thankful for, but to see if you are ever the thing someone else is thankful for.

Maybe the answer to that question is important.

Have a great night.

Interlude: Thanksgiving Goodness and my Pet Project.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Except you in the corner. You know who you are…

I don’t know about you, but I had a great Thanksgiving. Good food, good people… good food… all in all, a day well had. And, I got to spend lots of quality time with both of my nieces. The new one and the less new one. They are great. Unclehood is a wonderful thing.

I was trying to decide what I am most thankful for. And really, I’m not sure I can narrow it down to one thing I’m more thankful for than anything else. Some of the top contenders are… (in no particular order)

I’m not dead. (always a classic)
I’m not homeless.
My wife is awesome and also isn’t dead.
I’m not being hunted by ninja assassins. (that I know of…)
I finally finished a long running project. (more on that later.)

There are many others. Some probably more important than the ones I’ve listed. I could go on about the rest of my family, my friends… both real and imaginary… and my churches. But I won’t bore you with the details. In the end, I have to conclude that my life is very good. Better than it has any right to be.

I mentioned my new niece, right? She’s about a month old. She is just this little peanut. I can’t get enough. And her older sister is just growing so fast. She’s 3.5 years old. I gave her pony rides. She likes to sit on my back while I scramble about on my hands and knees, and then buck her off onto the couch.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Good times.

Now, about that long running project. Some of you are aware of it, some of you are not. What we’ve been doing is trying to get one of my churches set up to record video and stream it live whenever I preach there. And finally, after many setbacks, it is done and ready. We are now set up to both stream live, and keep previously recorded sermons available for on-demand viewing. All one needs is a computer and a decent internet connection.

And a desire to listen to me preach badly.

I mean, really, does everyone think the sound of their own voice sounds stupid once it’s recorded, or is it just me?

Maybe, you should answer that.

Anyway, the website is http://www.rockfallssdachurch.org/. If one decides to go there, at the top of the page is a link called “Live and On-Demand Sermons.”

Or you can click here. http://www.rockfallssdachurch.org/article.php?id=7

On that page are a number of links. One is a schedule of dates that will be streamed live. It’s not every week because I have three churches I have to rotate through. So, the dates are listed there.

Just below that is a link titled “Watch Live Now.” I believe it’s purpose is pretty self explanatory.

Below THAT, is a section with links to previously recorded sermons. On-demand sermons, if you will. Should you go there, you will notice they have been broken into parts. This is because we are poor. Hosting is expensive, so we are using a free service that requires file sizes be small. This means we have to break large files into smaller pieces. Fortunately, most sermons only need two pieces.

Also, because it’s a free service, sometimes there are advertisements before the sermon starts. If that bothers any of you, I’m sorry. I do have a solution, though. Put a finger in each ear, close your eyes, then shout really loud till the commercial ends. It should help you avoid the grotesque evil that is a cotton towel commercial. (he said with sarcasm…)

Now, I realize that perhaps not all of your, or even any of you, are interested in this. But for those who might be, there it is.

I encourage you to share the links with anyone and everyone, should you feel it is appropriate to do so. It’s easy to use, and handy if someone wants to be at church, but can’t, or doesn’t go to church, but is interested in hearing a sermon, or just wants to do something different.

It is my hope that one day it can help create a safe, enjoyable and active internet fellowship community. Call it church if you wish. Worshipping and learning about God is more than just sitting in church. I would go so far as to say just sitting in church is the farthest thing from it.

I want there to be a place for someone who is interested in God, but doesn’t feel comfortable in church. It’s my hope that this will help there.

So, please, try it out if you wish, let me know if you run into problems, and I hope you all have a great weekend.

Till next time.

Post 3: Meaning Beyond The Con

31,536,000 seconds. 525,600 minutes. 8760 hours. 365 days. 12 months.

These numbers all have one thing in common. They all equal the same thing.

1 year.

One year ago today, two days before Thanksgiving, my doctor called me with the results of my regular follow-up exams and told me that I had cancer. Again.

Two days before Thanksgiving.

We were already packing up to head out for the big family get together. We had been looking forward to getting away, and suddenly we weren't feeling to much like going. We had lost the desire to be a part of it, and we didn't want to ruin it for everyone else.

But we decided to go anyway. We decided not to say anything till after we got back from Thanksgiving. We would go. We would force a smile when it was time to smile, laugh when it seemed everyone else was laughing, and eat the food even though it we really weren't all that interested in eating. We didn't want bring everyone down so we just put on our best show and went through the motions. We just acted normal.

"Hey Tony, you've been staring at that cookie for 5 minutes and it's starting to creep me out. You ok?"

"What?!? Who said I was dying?!?... I mean, I like cookies. No cancer here."

Gag.

Ya, it went well.

Now, go ahead and ask me if I was feeling overly thankful. The answer is decidedly "no."
Fast forward to yesterday.

We are sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the results of my latest post-chemo tests. I started thinking back over this last year. Trying to smile through Thanksgiving. Going through all the tests with all the tubes and needles poked and inserted into various and unpleasant places. The surgery to put in my access port for chemo. The anticipation of the hell that was to come. Praying to God the day before chemo that I would wake up from the nightmare to find that it just a big dream or mistake. Going in the next for my first treatment and realizing it wasn't a dream and it wasn't a mistake. The next four months nausia, vomiting, head aches, weakness, chills, loss of hair, anemia, blood infusions, pain, erratic emotions and the realization that it was all much worse than anything I had anticipated. The unpleasant surgery to remove my access port. The recovery. And now I was there waiting to find out if history was going to go in circles for me.

Fortunately, it wasn't to be. My CT scans were as they should be and my blood tests were frighteningly close to normal. My doctor said, "It seems like you might have to suffer through till old age kills you after all."

Fair enough.

Now, it's two days before Thanksgiving again and I'm ready to go. I can smile and laugh and eat some great food... and I won't have to pretend too much.

Now, ask me if I am feeling overly thankful. The answer is "hell ya."

Now ask me why.

Is it because I have no cancer currently? Is it because I don't have 4 more months of chemo-torture looming ahead? Is it because in two days I'll get to put up with some of my crazier family? (maybe, maybe, and probably not)

Maybe it's because not have to die soon.

Maybe.

Do you know what a "shell game" is? I'm sure you all do. It is a game where a person hides a small object like small ball, or pebble, or pea under one of three cups, and then shuffles them around in order to confuse a player, then get them to place a bet as to which cup it is under. It was originally played with thimbles and a pea, then later walnut shells(hence the name "shell game") and a pea.

They show you the pea, put it under a cup, shuffle it around trying to confuse you, then stop and ask you to bet and choose a cup. They tell you that you have a one and three chance in choosing the correct cup. They are very good at shuffling the cups quickly so that they can mess you up. They usually let you choose correctly once or twice to suck you in. Then they make it hard for you, until you start losing.

It seems easy enough, though. If you just pay close enough attention, you should be able to follow the pea or ball because there are only three places the ball can be. Cup 1, 2 or 3.

And there in lies the illusion. The con man gets you to buy into to the parameters of the game as if they are actually true. The player knows that the con man is being tricky with the cups. They expect it. They expect the con man to switch up the cups or shift the ball from one cup to the next. But what the player doesn't realize is that it is an illusion with in an illusion.

The ball isn't under any of the cups. The player is given a false set of choices and then made to believe that they are the real ones. They are convinced they have three choice. Cup 1, 2, or 3. But really the ball is in the con mans hand the whole time.

Most of you probably knew that already. But have you ever stopped and looked around at your life to see just how often we believe that the set of options around us are really the only choices we have to choose from?

We habitually buy in to the parameters put in front of us and rarely try to see around them. I doubt any of you would ever fall for the shell game. And yet we do it every day.

Back to me being thankful.

Do you know why I'm thankful? Or maybe I should say, what I'm most thankful for? Because, yes, I am thankful that I don't have chemo anymore. I'm really thankful I don't have cancer anymore. I'm glad I'm not actively dying. I'm super glad I had my wife with me the whole time. She's awsome. But none of those things helped me accept the reality of this last year. None of those things had meaning beyond themself. (except for my wife, but that is another topic.)

I made this myspace(refer to first blog) page BECAUSE I had cancer. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have done it. I didn't feel like I had the time. But I had it, so I did. You are reading this blog BECAUSE I went through hell. And most importantly, I got back in touch with alot of people I had forgotten I cared about and had missed for a very long time BECAUSE my life was jeapardized by illness.
I'm thankful for my cancer because I'm thankful for all of you. Surviving is great. But having something more to show for it, to have made it worth not giving up, this brings meaning.

It brings thankfulness.

Don't let life convince you that your options are small and meaningless. Don't let yourself be convinced that the bad situation you are in is out of your control or without meaning. That the only options you have are "bad" and "worse" because what you see in front of you is often just an illusion.

It's just a shell game.

It's a false and flawed premise. There is more going on than what you see.

Look for it.

Happy Thanksgiving.