Lesson 23 - Fear? Or You?

Last night I went on a date with my wife.  We do stuff like that because we love each other and we are awesome and don't suck.

Completely unrelated, I have issues with arrogance and vanity.

On this evening of happy joy time, we went and watched "Cirque: Shanghai - Warrior", a "Chinese" acrobatic circus.  (I say "Chinese" because I don't know that every one of them were actually Chinese.)  It wasn't "Cirque de Sole" amazing, but it was still pretty good.  They started off with really simple stuff and just progressively cranked up the difficulty until they were performing feats of insanity that only people who are high or crazy (or both) would even consider.  

There were high balancing people pyramids, high tossing and flipping, tumbling, balancing, juggling, and often all of it at once.

The last three main routines started with the hanging ribbons, where someone (a duo in this case) wraps silk ribbons around their arms or legs and then is lifted off the ground where they swing around in lazy circles while performing stunts, in the air, hanging from ribbons which are not actually attached to them but are only being held on to, generally one person at a time while the second person is holding on to nothing but the first person.

And of course there are no nets.  For anything.  Ever.

At one point the girl is hanging by nothing but her neck from the guy who is hanging on to the ribbons with one arm.  Then she is laying horizontal on his toes  in a "planking" position while he is holding on to the ribbons.  Then she wraps the ribbons around her thighs, does the splits, hangs upside down, grabs him, and they float off.  The ribbons are not tied.  Simply wrapped around a couple times.

Then there are the twin cage hoops that rotate around a central pivot with a dude in each cage hoop.  A cage with no sides.  Sometimes they are in the cage, others they are on the cage, on the outside, 30 feet in the air, no ropes, no nets, while the entire apparatus rotates on a central access, one cage on each end, in giant, fast, circles.  The guys jump into and out of the cages all in transit.  They get on top, and as the cages crest the top arc, fly into the air as the centrifugal forces launch them into the air and then they land back down again as both them and the cage come back down in their arc.

And then, they do it while juggling.  Then they do it while jumping rope.  Once the guy got his foot caught in the rope.  He stumbled and bobbled and almost fell off, but kept his footing, and then tried it again.  Nerves of steal doesn't even begin to describe what it would take to not only try it, but to almost die, then try it again with barely a pause.

Then there was the spherical cage where not one, but four motorcycles drove inside of and then drove around in it and upside down in different patterns without running into each other. One mistake, and everyone has a very bad trip to the surgical ward.  But they didn't even hesitate.  They were confident and focused.

As I sat in the audience and watched these and other things, I reflected back on my gymnastics days.  I was never half as good as any of these people.  But there were some of the things they did, basic things, I used to do.  The handstands, the pyramids, bits of tumbling and flipping... I remember doing those things.

But I remembered the other side of it.  I remember why I was never as good as any of the people I watched last night.

As I thought about it, I realized the problem wasn't one of skill.  Please don't misunderstand.  I'm not saying I was that good.  I'm saying it wasn't  skill or the potential to be that skillful that held me back.

It was fear.

I remember doing handstands on the ground.  Pretty easy once you practice, gain some strength, and make it almost second nature.  No problem.  Then, you start doing handstands on other people.

This sounds hard.  It really isn't.  If you have a good strong person under you, (they are called a "base"), they do a lot of the work for you.  You simply need to stay tight and straight and use proper control to get upside down.

It's pretty simple.  If you can do a proper handstand on the ground, you can do one on a good "base".  I've done it and I've taught it, and I've done both sides of it.

Here is where the problem comes.

You do it on one person and it's no big deal.  But now add a second level.  Now you are three people in the air.  From a structural stand point, if you do it right, it's still pretty stable.  But suddenly you are way off the ground and you are upside down staring at it.

I've seen people do it 6 or 7 people high.  I never made past just the one.  Not because I couldn't do the handstand, but because I was scared to death.

Adding one more person didn't make my part of it much harder.  Yes, it is harder for the people under me, but for the guy on top, it's still fairly simple.  There is some extra motion to balance out, but I found I could stabilize lots of motion when I was down low, but up high...?  I would freak out and bail every time.

We used to train doing handstands by having someone try to push you around while you were on your hands.  Not super hard, because it's pretty easy to shove someone over that way.  But we would try to simulate a shaky footing.  I was pretty good that way.

But the moment altitude was involved, I totally would lose it.  I was afraid.  My fear defeated me before my skill showed my brain that I could do it.

As I thought about this, it wasn't hard to see how this is true in most areas of life.  People will "fail" more out of fear, than out of ability.  We don't walk a certain path because we don't think we can.  We don't make certain choices because we've rationalized away the decision.  But in most of those cases, if we are honest, we made those choices out of fear of what might be, instead of what IS.

People are very capable.  With focus, and training, we can do almost anything.  We are rarely limited by ability.  What limits us is our fear.  Fear of failure, fear of damage, fear of pain and hurt.  And, while the dangers might be real, so is our ability to overcome the danger.  We have the ability to over come the fear.  We have the ability to realize that fear is simply an illusion.  It's not "truth".  Real, but not true.

Don't let fear keep you from something greater, from realizing the height of your potential.  You are not your fear.  Don't let fear define you.  

Let you define you.

Be more.

Blog 9: It's All True Unless It Isn't

Shazam!

Hmm... I keep saying that hoping that one of these times I will turn into Captain Marvel, but it never seems to happen. Don't tell me comic books lied to me again?

Well, today's post is brought to you today by the letters "A" and "Q and the number "3."

Once again, it's been too long. I could make excuses. They might even be true. But they would still be excuses, so I won't bother.

I have a cold.

Ok, that's sort of an excuse. But not really. Did it make you feel bad for me? That was the purpose.

Ok, a question for you. How many of you like it when people who clearly don't know what they are talking about try to speak authoritatively about something in a manner ment to convince you they are correct?

Does that make you happy?

I get it all the time. Good, well meaning people trying convince me about something about which they know nothing about. I sometimes wonder if people think to themselves "hey, there's a pastor, I must attempt dazzle him with my brilliance." It's as if sometimes I think people feel they need to prove something to me.

I'm not sure why. I'm just another guy with a semi fancy title.

I mean, we all get those email forwards from people in which they are trying to warn us about some cleaver scheme or deadly food which turns out to be false 99.9% of the time. But a whole string of someones bought into it and decided to send it around the internet hoping to annoy/help/dazzle/amaze someone by the information there in.

Then there is the christian example. "Doesn't it say in the bible that...(insert idiodic statement here)?" or "I heard some preacher say once that... (insert another idiodic statment here)?" as if because a preacher said it must absolutely be true. You know, because preachers are never wrong.

Then there is the science example. "If you take rocks and frog urine and boil them with ginseng and drink it at exactly 92 degrees, you will never ever get sick." or "my grandma told me once that if you...(you know what to put here)?"

Pick your walk of life. Religious, secular, whatever... there are always people ready to dazzle you with knowledge they don't actually posses.

So the lesson for today? Search out the truth.

Urban legends, religious or scientific myths and other here say abound in our culture. Alot of the time they are part of our knowledge base without even knowing they are there. At some point we bought into the lie and stuck fiction where fact should be. All of us have done it at some point.

I'm no less guilty.

And in casual conversation, when we weren't prepared and we can't remember and we go "You know, I can't remember but I swear I read once that...", well, that's forgiveable. We all do it.

But then there are the conversations that matter. The ones that change lives. The ones where the information presented will alter the way in which someone makes a real decision. Then... it's not so forgiveable.

Myths, legends, old wives tales... call them what you want... so much of it has krept into our way of life. Sometimes it's in the form of our traditions. Sometimes it's in our ritual (which is usually part of our tradition). Sometimes it's in our fundamental belief system.

And sometimes we have grabbed onto it so hard, that even when we are presented with the clear, irrefutable proof that we are being irrational, we still cling to what we think we know instead of learning something new and useful. Comfort and ignorance over progress and learning.

Let's think about it in a political way. I'm not going to expound in any way about our candidates for president. But if we vote based on what we heard someone say about them, instead of actually researching what these people have done and what their history says about them, we would be really stupid.

A wise person votes based on an informed decision, not based on a preconceived notion, or a missquoted rumors.
The rest of our lives should be no different. The history of christianity should teach us that above all else. For hundreds of years christianity committed attrocities and got away with it because of the ignorance of the people. Sure, sometimes it was forced ignorance. But sometimes not.

Today, in an era of unpresidented information dissemination, we have the opportunity to learn in a way no one in history has been able to. All the information we need is at our disposal. The rocks of history have been overturned and the secrets have been spilled.

And yet, there are many who would rather stick to the error of history, than acknowledge it's falicies.
In the realm in which I work and live, I hear all the time things like, "Well, they would never teach this back in my day." or "Give me that old time religion. It's good enough for me."

It's funny. Cause, if it was good enough, then we wouldn't be here anymore. "We need to do the things we did when I was a kid. That's how to teach people."

Right. It worked so well then. How come we didn't finish the job?

We can't afford to rely on the word of people when comes to the things that really matter. Like salvation. Like our spirituality. Like our future. Things of life and death. And not just our life and death, but the life's of those around us.

I spend more time working with people who's spirituality is all screwed up because of false religious myths and teachings than other group of people. "Well, I was taught that..."

Really? Where did they get that? Why did they teach it? Where is the foundation for it? Is that actually true?
And yet, people will base huge life changing decisions based on falicy.

I had a person recently tell me they need to postpone their baptism. I asked why. He said because they had gotten angry with a family member. I asked why that should postpone it. He said because they clearly must not be ready. So I asked if christians never get angry and make mistakes.

He didn't have an answer.

The truth is, he was basing his decision on a preconception of what a christian is. Perfect in everything. Never making mistakes. Never getting mad. Never sinning.

Seriously?

But this is what happens when we gain our knowledge of things second, third and fourth hand. It gets distorted.
Most people do not seem to realize that the Apostles in the New Testament were baptizing polygamists and drunkards and slave owners. They were baptizing them wholesale. And they didn't all change right away. That's why there are so many letters in the bible trying to teach the different groups to focus on God and to let him lead their lives to to live those lives rightly.

It's because those lives weren't right the moment they came to God.

This is just an example of the type of religious knowledge that gets ignored or forgotten. So, as result, the way christianity in general treats people who might be less than perfect is based on not remembering that. By that I mean, we have no tolerance for people who to line up perfectly with what we think a good christian should be. We don't baptize them till they are perfect. Even though the Apostles weren't doing that.

And so because many live their lives constructed around information that isn't true, it spreads to those around them and polarizes societies. People walk away from God because of the ignorance of the people they interacted with. They were taught wrong and took the flawed teaching, made it true and based life altering decisions on it.

I see people struggle so much in there spirituality because of this. This more than any other thing.

All because somewhere at some point, someone decided to get lazy with their learning. They just believed what they heard cause it sounded fine. It sounded authoritative. It didn't matter that it was absolutely false. It just sounded good.

There is a fantasy book I read a few yeas ago called Runemasters. In it, the nobles could purchase runes that would grant them different abilities. The abilities would be tied to other people. For example, if you wanted a rune of strenght, you would by one, the rune would be put on you, but the strength it gave you actually came from someone else. The runes only transferred the power.

That really has little to do with what i'm talking about. But at any rate, there was the evil general that was trying to take over the kingdom. And he had aquired hundreds of runes of glamor and speech. He was so handsome and smooth talking that he marched his army right up to the gates of the main opposition, an opposition that out numbered him and would have won easily in a realy fight, and he smiled and told them he was a friend and spoke eloquently and asked them to lower their defences and let him and his army in.

And they did.

Not one person died. Not one arrow shot. Not one sword swung. It ended in the time it took for him to speak the sentence.

All because he looked the part, sounded good and had the right words to say.

That is obviously an over the top example. But the truth is the same kind of thing happens every day in our lives. We heea things. They sound good. Maybe it resonates because we want it to be true. Or we like to person who said it. They are so nice. They have a great smile. They just sound honest.

We can never trust the words of people. Because even if they aren't trying to lie to us, who says that they didn't buy into someone elses lie and are teaching that?

Just because we are smart does not mean we can't be fooled.

I was trying to get this idea accross to some people in bible study a couple weeks ago. I kept reminding them to always go back and study things for themselves and never take the teachers word for it.

And the one lady, bless her for giving me the benefit of the doubt, kept saying "go back to the bible and your pastor."

I kept saying, "Even the pastor can deceive you or be wrong."

And she kept saying "But you are called by God."

She was so sure of my authority. That I couldn't possibly lead her astray because of who I was. That is sooo dangerous.

In the end I had to make it very clear that just because I may have been called to this life I live, that it didn't mean I wouldn't make bad choices and deceive her. Willingly or otherwise.

She didn't like that. But it was true.

Everyone has an oppinion and that's good. But obviously not everyone can be correct.

The thing I want to stress to today is this. Always check the answers yourself. Always go and find out for yourself. Don't just believe the word of the person telling you something. Or the one book you just read. If it matters enough to you that you are considering making decisions based on the information, then go and do the homework.

Let's not have a string of missinformed decisions change the course of our personal histories.

What I say is true. Of course, you won't know for sure until you go back and do the homework.

Don't just take my word for it. I'm just some other bloke saying stuff that might not be true.

But I'm not. It's all true.

Unless it isn't.

But I wouldn't do that.

Or would I?

Hmm...

Have a great night.