Interlude 3: My Short Wife Post

Greetings and something.

Perhaps I should clarify my title again.  It refers to the shortness of the post, not the shortness of my wife.  Although... ahem...

As I mentioned last week, this next week we are headed to some place vacationy and warm.  As such, there is a good chance there will be no post next week.  Because of this we have been trying to make sure we have completed all the stuff which need completing before then so we have a stress free adventure.

However, this does mean that the weeks leading up to said trip tend to be extra busy and the opposite of stress free.

For myself, I had four different projects which deadlined this weekend.  These are four projects that are above and beyond my normal work load, however you wish to define that.  Super busy and stressed.  I should know better than to let myself get stressed.  But I don't always learn my own lessons well.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I wasn't the only one having a less than stellar week.  My wife had a particularly rough week.  Especially at the beginning.

It all started off well.  At the gym this past Sunday, she accidentally ran a half marathon.  "Accidentally" is probably a misleading word.  She intended to run 10 miles.  Which she did.  But then, because she felt so good, she decided to beast-mode it another 3 miles.  And she did.  

13 miles.  One half of a marathon.  Ok, for you nitpicky types, 13.1 is half a marathon.  She did that.  It was just easier to type 13.  But then I went and explained, and pretty much ruined any advantage I had in the efficiency area.  Well done, me.

She accomplished one of her fitness goals.  We were both very excited.  More her than me, since I didn't run 13 miles.  Cause that's just crazy.  But I support her insanity.

She even accomplished another fitness goal just today by doing her Friday run while besting her previous best average split time.  Plus a couple other minor ones today as well.

A great bookended week for her.

But in the middle... holy bad word.  

She had some really random pain, her work shifts were long and full of drama, there were some unexpected money things, some more unexpected food allergy related issues, and a number of other little annoyances that just made her week not amazing.

I am sure I wasn't as supportive as I could have been being strapped in to my own cranky pants as I was.  She was trying to be considerate of me, and I was trying to be considerate of her, and we did ok... but it was a long, bad week.

But something weird happened in the middle of it all that oddly gave me some perspective.

This will probably not make sense to many of you, but here is how it went.

We finally had a few minutes, had been sitting on the couch and there may have been a couple minutes of TV watched.  After shutting down the TV device, my lovely and awesome wife went to the kitchen and dropped off the remote by the TV on the way.  As she bent down to set the controller in it's spot, she wacked her head on the TV.  Not hard.  No damage.  But it happened.

And we've all done stuff like that, right?  It happens.  But this was at the end of the worst day of our bad week.  The worst day for her.  She was hurting, tired, grumpy, and then that just before bed.

Do you know what I did?

I watched it happen and I had a minor epiphany, and as a result, I laughed so hard I thought I might pee a little then black out.

As you might expect, this was not the response she was hoping for.  But, my wife being the amazing trooper she is, eventually started laughing as well.

It was just so ridiculous.  So random.  So pointless.  It was meaningless.

We spent all week getting annoyed and worked up about stuff, and that one little act put it all in perspective. 

It's all transient.  It is meaningless.  The annoyances just don't matter.  In another week or two, they will all be fading memories and we will be on to something else.  We got caught up in the lunacy of the moment and allowed ourselves to be consumed by it.

But in that one moment, we snapped free.  Until next time.  All thanks to my wife's selfless act of taking one in the head for the team.

Don't let the unimportant minor things of life get you all worked up.  They are not constant. They will always move and change.  See the larger picture and find joy in it's beauty.

Have a great week and I'll catch you on the flip side of vacation!

Interlude 2: More Interluderer!

Sup, and stuff?

By now you probably noticed that last week there was no post.  None.  Not even a small note mentioning the significant lack of post.  Not even a seflie with a frown.

I apologize.  The last couple of weeks saw the hecticness (can we say that's a word now?) of my life blast to epic levels of not sane.  It's an excuse, yes.  Were I a better man, I would have simply apologized and said "there is no excuse for my lameness."  

Fortunately, I'm not a better man.  So, there it is.

Even now, you are getting an interlude post.  Well, another interlude post.  I'm sure you figured that out when you read the title.  When I sat down, I had just been thinking about how there is going to be a third "Taken" movie.  Which had me thinking about how you title something like that when the movies are all about the same person/people who keep getting "taken"?

"Taken 3 - More Takenerer."  (hence my title)

"Taken 3 - Taken again, some more, one more time, for a hat trick!"

But it's Liam Neeson and he's great, so, what are you going to do?

Next week should present no problem in getting a post out on time.  (he said setting himself up for no excuses.)  The week after, however, my beautiful lady mate and I will be in Cozumel.  I make no promises about that weeks post.

In preparation for Cozumel (and the rest of a long healthy life), we have been hitting the gym hard with renewed vigor.  We hadn't stopped working out, but now we are extra motivated.  I won't lie.  It's about vanity at this point.  Yes, we are primarily doing it for health and not being dead.  But we realized that neither of us had been in a swim suit, in public, for awhile.  It was deemed important that we be bikini ready.  Well, I won't be wearing a bikini... that you will ever, ever know about.  But I digress.

As such, we've been in the gym a lot.  Like today, for example.  My wife did cardio while I was teaching class, after which I joined her and did some laps around the track.  We followed this up with pull-ups (multiple grip), dips (there is really only one grip), weighted side crunches, downward diagonal twisty rope pulls on a weighted pulley thingies(I have no idea what they are called), and dead lifts.

It was a light day.

We've been doing this stuff for quite a while now, which was why I was so surprised when, as I stood up from the couch earlier, my butt muscles attempted to murder me.

Apparently they were unhappy about the dead lifts.  I stood up and almost fell right over.  Everything is fine, it was just a temporary soreness from sitting after a workout.  No damage.  Everything is fine.

But wow.  You forget how important each part of your body is until one of those parts wants to not cooperate.  When everything is running smooth, you sort of take it for granted.  Then, suddenly, on piece of the machine says "NO!!  I refuse!" and quickly you are aware of it's importance.

Our lives are very much like this.  Usually it only takes one small thing to become disheveled, and suddenly we are on the road to serious unhappiness.

And there are many parts.  And those parts have parts.

Did you know that there are dozens and dozens of enzymes that help your blood clot properly?  Did you know without any single one of them working properly you could bleed to death?  Such a tiny little thing.  Just one little thing, and really bad stuff happens.

It's "easy" to see the parts of our physical life.  Eat good, exercise well, sleep well, stay balanced.  Not as easy as it sounds, but pretty straight forward.

Our mental life.  Keep stress in check, have a positive attitude, practice patience, and hundreds of other things to keep us from delving into insanity.

Our spiritual life (even if you don't believe in God, spiritual practice has proven over and again it's health benefits).  Prayer/meditation.  Finding peace inside.  And also dozens of other components of a healthy spiritual life.

And if just one sliver of any one piece of any one part in any one of these categories goes off kilter, you immediately know it.  Taking care of all of these aspects of life is part (not all) of finding joy and completeness.  

Don't let your life become about those things which drive you mad and harm you.  Let your life be about the things that build you up and elevate you.  The awful stuff will always be there, but your life doesn't have to be dedicated to it.

Choose a better path.

Huh.  What do you know.  I started off with rambling and excuse making and a semi legit post manifested.  I better quit while I'm ahead.

Thanks for showing up.  Thanks for reading.

Have a great night.

An Interlude Lesson

Hello and good evening to you all.

This week and today in particular have been super busy.  However, I didn't want to go without posting anything.  So I decided to do something that sounds horrible.

I'm going to cheat.

That's right.  You heard me.  I'm cheating.  Cheater cheater something something...

Instead of my own words and such, I'm going to give you some parables to think about.  

I know, I know.  You are thinking, "Oh great, he's going to go all "Christiany" on us and start quoting the Bible."  Sorry, I'm not doing that(not that I wouldn't.  just you wait and see.).  These are Buddhist parables.

Ah HA!  Take that!  I bet you didn't see that coming.  Look at me all sly and sneaky.  And arrogant and full of himself.  And really not all that clever anyway.  Hmm, that de-escalated quickly.

These parables have to do with perception.  Specifically, the perception of our problems.  It often becomes our purpose in life to focus on our problems and figuring out how to not have them.  This can be super depressing.  

On that note, I give you these two parables as food for thought.  Take them as you will.  If you don't like them, that's ok.  I didn't write them.  I'm simply plagiarizing(which reminds me of a story for another time).  Of course, if I'm telling you, is it really plagiarizing?  Hmm...

On that note I give you first "The Parable of the 84th Problem."

A once well-to-do farmer had heard that the Buddha was a wonderful teacher and went to see him, seeking resolution to a set of distressing problems.

“I’m a landowner,” he told the Buddha, “And I love to watch my people working in the fields and to see my crops grow. But last summer we had a drought and nearly starved. This summer, we had too much rain and some of my crops did poorly.” The Buddha listened and nodded compassionately.

“I have a wife too. She’s a good woman and a wonderful wife. But sometimes she nags me. To tell the truth, sometimes I grow tired of her.” Again, the Buddha nodded.

“I have three children. Two are basically good, and I am very proud of them. But sometimes these two refuse to listen to me or pay me the respect I deserve. My oldest son is not so good. He drinks far too much and now he’s wandered off . He’s been gone a year and I don’t know where he is or even if he’s alive.” The man began to cry and the Buddha’s face filled with compassion.

The farmer carried on like this for another hour. When he had exhausted himself, he turned to the Buddha and said, “Please tell me what to do,” fully expecting to receive an answer that would solve all his problems.

“I cannot help you,” replied the Buddha.

“What do you mean ?” the farmer retorted.

“Everyone has problems,” the Buddha replied. “In fact, everyone has eighty-three problems. You may solve one now and then, but another is sure to take its place. Everything is subject to change. Life is impermanent. Everything you have built will return to dust; everyone you love is going to die. You, yourself, are going to die someday. Therein dwells the problem of all problems, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

The farmer was chagrined. “What kind of teaching is this? How can it possibly help me?”

“Perhaps it will help you with the eighty-fourth problem,” answered the Buddha.

“What is the eighty-fourth problem?” asked the farmer anxiously.

“The problem of not wanting the other 83 problems,” replied the Buddha.

And also, I give you "The Parable of Kisa Gotami."

Kisa Gotami was the wife of a wealthy man of Savatthi. After losing her only child, Kisa Gotami became desperate and asked if anyone can help her. Her sorrow was so great that many thought she had already lost her mind. 

An old man told her to meet Buddha. 

Buddha told her that before he could bring the child back to life, she should find white mustard seeds from a family where no one had died. She desperately went from house to house, but to her disappointment, she could not find a house that had not suffered the death of a family member. Finally the realization struck her that there is no house free from mortality.

She returned to the Buddha who then comforted her.

So there you have it.  

I like these parables because they give a pretty accurate presentation about how we view the things in our lives that cause problems or trouble or other issues related to troubles and problems and despair.

I won't lecture, I'll let you reflect.  But I will leave you with one more quote.  No, not from Jesus or Buddha, although they both have some great things to say about such things.  Instead, it will be from Captain Jack Sparrow.

"The problem is not the problem.  The problem is your attitude about the problem."

Hmm... indeed.