Blog 11: Let Go My Ego.

So, my wife is out of the country.

I've been alone all week. And it's cold. I'm the guy who has to have the house cool at night because he gets too hot when sleeping. I'll spare you the details of how that works in any practical way. The point is, this week, without my wife... I had to add two extra blankets to the bed. Not only that, I had to fold them in half and lay them on my side. That's how cold it was without her there. When you consider, normally, I have to hang one leg out of the covers just to keep from bursting into flames, well, that says alot.

Oh ya, I said I wasn't going to start giving details. Sorry.

Did I mention it's lonely here?

My point?

Actually, I don't have one there. This is mostly a cry for sympathy.

Is it working?

Hey, I forgot... Hello everyone.

Yes yes, I realize that I was so caught up in my own lonely, cold, pizza-eating self-pity that I forgot to say hello. I'm sorry. I'm a bad man.

Well, on to more important things.

I'm going to come right out and say a couple things to start off. I try to say what I believe honestly and clearly, all while being as open and inoffensive as possible. I'm not out to harm anyones sensitivities. And, so far, no one has complained, so... victory is mine! (man, Family Guy is funny... sorry, bad reference.)

I say all that because I'm going to begin with this. I believe in God. I believe God is real. I believe God is a real being. I believe in the Christian God. Who also happens to be the Jewish and Islamic God. Who, as it turns out, was also part of many of the early pantheons of gods that many early cultures believed in. He is referenced in Babylonian mythology. But that isn't the point here. The point is, I believe He is real. I will concede that, for the most part, we don't know what we are talking about when it comes to the nature of God... but I still believe He exists.
Which means, by extention, I believe in the existance of the devil. Satan. Lucifer. I believe that he too is real. My beliefs of him are much more traditional than my beliefs on the nature of God, but again, the history and specifics are all irrelevant for this discussion.

The point is, I believe they exist. But today, I'm not focusing on them so much. It's important for me to say that because of the question I'm about to ask you.

The question is this.

Who/what is a persons/mankinds worst enemy?

If, after reading what I said just before that question, you still say "the devil"... well, you don't get a cookie. The answer "the devil" doesn't count for this quiz. For two reasons.

One. If you are christian/religious, then you already assume that he's the baddest baddy around. It's a given. So we aren't going there.

Two. If you aren't a christian/religious, then you don't believe in the devil anyway, so going their is virtually pointless. So I guess what I should have asked is...

Who/what is a persons/mankinds second worst enemy?

Ok, fair enough. Actually, both questions are accurate depending on which group you fall into, but you get the point.

Just think about yourself for a moment. Short of the originator of evil, who is the worst enemy you have? What is the worst enemy you have?

Many of you probably find the answer obvious. But just in case you don't, if you want the answer, go look in a mirror and tell me what you see?

You are your worst enemy. I am my worst enemy. We are our own worst enemies.

Now, if you gave that answer, you are correct, but that is still a bit of a vague cop-out answer. What does that mean? Why is that true? How can that be true? In what way is that true?

I'll make it simple. One word. Three letters.

Ego.

You want to know what makes our own lives so difficult sometimes? It's our own ego. I'm not saying other things don't contribute. I'm just saying this is at the top of the list.

Ego.

What is it that causes us to react in any given way? Or maybe I should say, what causes us to react negatively to stimulus?

Let's say you are driving in your car, and someone cuts you off. Do you get cranky about it? Some of you might not. And those who do, some of you probably keep it inside without screaming. But even so, the feelings arose.

Why?

Ego. You got wronged. The cut you off. Pulled in front of you when it was your turn to be somewhere. They can't do that to you. You are more important. It inconvenienced you. You. How dare they? Don't they know you have places to be? Don't they know they are moronic jerks?

Ego. In that scenario, your status was more important than theirs. You were self centered. You were Egocentric. You weren't concerned with their needs. Only yours.

Now, you might say, "that isn't wrong." Fair enough. It's not. At least, not always. What if that person who cut you off had a pregnant woman in the back seat, but you just couldn't see her? And they were racing to the hospital? Sure, not real safe, but would you have gotten upset if you had known that? If you had known there was actually a reason for the seemingly rude behaviour?

Ego is what causes you to NOT stop and think about it. It tells you to react on self interest.

How about this. You are working on something. Your car. Your computer. Some project. It doesn't matter what it is. But you are working on it. And you've done it before. You know what you are doing. While you are doing it, some one comes up and tells you that you are doing it wrong.

How does that make you feel? Do you get angry inside? Or at least a little cranky inside? Does it frustrate you? If so, why? What if they had said that what you are doing works, but there is a much better way of doing it?

Would it matter? Would you still be upset? Probably?

Look, we don't like to admit it, but we usually get a little upset when this happens.

But why? (insert the word "ego", here.)

What is happening at that moment? Well, you've done what you are doing many times. You know what you are doing. Do you need someone telling you what to do? Or how to do it? Or that they can do it better? Cause really, that's what they are saying. If they can recognize that you aren't doing it a good way, then, they must think they can do it better.

How dare they. Coming up to you and implying that you don't know what you are doing? That you might not know what you are talking about? That's an insult to your abilities and intelligence. That is them saying they are better than you.

Now, you might not have all those words come into your head. But the emotions show up that go with them. At least some of them.

That is your Ego. Your ego doesn't want to be told what to do or that it doesn't know what it's doing. It doesn't like the suggestion that someone else might have a better way, or might know something you don't. Your ego interprets all that stuff as if it's a threat or challenge to who you are.

Because nothing is more important than your Ego. At least, so your ego thinks.

Just to be clear, I keep saying "your ego." But I'm talking about mine as well. I'm no better. I have an ego. I get pissed off when someone tries to tell me my business. Oh, I might smile and nod and be polite, but inside, I'm screaming at them to shut their pie hole and mind their own business. Inside, I'm telling them that I don't need some half wit moron telling me what is true or not.

And that may work for us really well, right up till the moment we are slapped in the face with irrefutable proof that they, in fact, were correct. Not us. Not me.

Them.

Well, the ego can't handle that. The ego can't handle the fact that sometimes, we don't know what we are doing, or at the very least, someone else might be able to do it better, or know more about it.

Our Ego is our worst enemy because it convinces of things that many times just aren't true. Trying to protect us from the appearance of failure in our minds. "No, it can't be my fault. There is no way I am wrong. It must be Ted's fault."

Have you ever done that? Something went wrong at work and immediately without hesitation you said, "I didn't do it." or "It wasn't my fault."

I've done it more times than I can remember. It's down right embarrassing as I think about it.

That's ego.

Our Ego tries to control our world. Tell us what to think and how to react. And, really, I don't think this is anything that most of us don't already know.

So why prattle on about it, then?

Because Ego is why Christianity, and religion in general, is so screwed up. Ego is why many people refuse to learn more about those who are different or think differently. Ego is why "christians" spend most of their time fighting with each other over who is more right instead of working together to save lives.

Ego is why so many people never find salvation.

And I'm not just talking about non-christians. Ego is why so many "christians" never find salvation.

Because ego won't let them be wrong. Ego won't let them be wrong and realize they have something to learn. Ego won't let them open their eyes and see truth. Ego won't let them open their heart and love.

Ego won't let them see God.

Ego only lets them see themself. And that is the exact opposite of salvation.

Now, some of you are probably shouting "that's the devil at work."

Well, sure. I believe that. But here is the truth.

We don't need the devil to make us be that way. We are more than happy to do that on our own.

For us, the devil only prods us to do that which we already want to do. If that weren't true, it wouldn't be called "temptation." Because if we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't be tempted.

But let's back up the time machine. Back to Lucifer. Before he fell. Who tempted him?

No one. All he needed was his ego and a lack of self control.

Now, we could argue whether or not Lucifer had an ego. But that's a metaphysical argument for another time. I'm just going to say that I think he does and did no matter what his physical make-up actually is.

The point is, we are our enemies. We cause ourselves to have problems with others. We create our own conflict. Sure, someone else might start the trouble. But we don't have to help it out.

I'm talking spiritually and relationally here. If someone steps up and is trying to harm you or your family, I think we are dealing in a slightly different realm. I'm not talking about that.

Spritual and relational. Self centered vs other centered. Egocentric self importance vs open selfless compassion and self confidence.

Wait, what?

That's right. Selfless and self confident go together. Selfish and self confident almost never go together.

If one isn't comfortable with themself, they are not capable of seeing beyond themselves to focus on others. We are too caught up with trying to make ourselves comfortable instead of just being comfortable. And more importantly, the selfish person is trying to get other people to see them as confident and comfortable, while a truly confident and comfortable person doesn't care who sees it. They simply aren't worried about it.

And because they aren't, they can worry about other things. Like other people.

I'm sure you realize it, but this is one of the biggest themes in the bible. What were the words of Solomon?

Pride goes before a fall? A haughty heart before destruction?

The entire gospel is themed around this concept. They just never used the word Ego.

Jesus and Paul and the others kept talking about emptying ourselves to self. Paul called it "dying to the old man."

Did you ever notice in scripture that it was the person of WEAK faith that was trying to force everyone to do things a certain way? And the person of STRONG faith was able to be comfortable doing just about anything because his "faith" permitted it?

That's because the person of STRONG faith had nothing to prove to anyone. The person of WEAK faith is trying to prove himself to everyone.

The person of STRONG faith can roll with life because of that. The person of WEAK faith cannot.

That is because the person of STRONG faith has removed his/her ego from the equation and allowed God and others into their life. The person of WEAK faith is still letting their ego show everyone how everyone one how great they are, and trying to fill others with their big egocentric based focused. Trying to conform the world to the whims of their ego. The whims of their view.

They don't want everyone to revolve around God. They want everyone, including God, to revolve around them.

We can blame Lucifer for all this if we want. And don't get me wrong, he deserves a whole lot of blame.

But in the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves. No one makes us act a certain way. We choose to. No one chooses for us.

Pride and ego. Flip sides of the same coin.

The question is, "What is driving you?"

Happy Sabbath, peace, and good night.

Blog 9: It's All True Unless It Isn't

Shazam!

Hmm... I keep saying that hoping that one of these times I will turn into Captain Marvel, but it never seems to happen. Don't tell me comic books lied to me again?

Well, today's post is brought to you today by the letters "A" and "Q and the number "3."

Once again, it's been too long. I could make excuses. They might even be true. But they would still be excuses, so I won't bother.

I have a cold.

Ok, that's sort of an excuse. But not really. Did it make you feel bad for me? That was the purpose.

Ok, a question for you. How many of you like it when people who clearly don't know what they are talking about try to speak authoritatively about something in a manner ment to convince you they are correct?

Does that make you happy?

I get it all the time. Good, well meaning people trying convince me about something about which they know nothing about. I sometimes wonder if people think to themselves "hey, there's a pastor, I must attempt dazzle him with my brilliance." It's as if sometimes I think people feel they need to prove something to me.

I'm not sure why. I'm just another guy with a semi fancy title.

I mean, we all get those email forwards from people in which they are trying to warn us about some cleaver scheme or deadly food which turns out to be false 99.9% of the time. But a whole string of someones bought into it and decided to send it around the internet hoping to annoy/help/dazzle/amaze someone by the information there in.

Then there is the christian example. "Doesn't it say in the bible that...(insert idiodic statement here)?" or "I heard some preacher say once that... (insert another idiodic statment here)?" as if because a preacher said it must absolutely be true. You know, because preachers are never wrong.

Then there is the science example. "If you take rocks and frog urine and boil them with ginseng and drink it at exactly 92 degrees, you will never ever get sick." or "my grandma told me once that if you...(you know what to put here)?"

Pick your walk of life. Religious, secular, whatever... there are always people ready to dazzle you with knowledge they don't actually posses.

So the lesson for today? Search out the truth.

Urban legends, religious or scientific myths and other here say abound in our culture. Alot of the time they are part of our knowledge base without even knowing they are there. At some point we bought into the lie and stuck fiction where fact should be. All of us have done it at some point.

I'm no less guilty.

And in casual conversation, when we weren't prepared and we can't remember and we go "You know, I can't remember but I swear I read once that...", well, that's forgiveable. We all do it.

But then there are the conversations that matter. The ones that change lives. The ones where the information presented will alter the way in which someone makes a real decision. Then... it's not so forgiveable.

Myths, legends, old wives tales... call them what you want... so much of it has krept into our way of life. Sometimes it's in the form of our traditions. Sometimes it's in our ritual (which is usually part of our tradition). Sometimes it's in our fundamental belief system.

And sometimes we have grabbed onto it so hard, that even when we are presented with the clear, irrefutable proof that we are being irrational, we still cling to what we think we know instead of learning something new and useful. Comfort and ignorance over progress and learning.

Let's think about it in a political way. I'm not going to expound in any way about our candidates for president. But if we vote based on what we heard someone say about them, instead of actually researching what these people have done and what their history says about them, we would be really stupid.

A wise person votes based on an informed decision, not based on a preconceived notion, or a missquoted rumors.
The rest of our lives should be no different. The history of christianity should teach us that above all else. For hundreds of years christianity committed attrocities and got away with it because of the ignorance of the people. Sure, sometimes it was forced ignorance. But sometimes not.

Today, in an era of unpresidented information dissemination, we have the opportunity to learn in a way no one in history has been able to. All the information we need is at our disposal. The rocks of history have been overturned and the secrets have been spilled.

And yet, there are many who would rather stick to the error of history, than acknowledge it's falicies.
In the realm in which I work and live, I hear all the time things like, "Well, they would never teach this back in my day." or "Give me that old time religion. It's good enough for me."

It's funny. Cause, if it was good enough, then we wouldn't be here anymore. "We need to do the things we did when I was a kid. That's how to teach people."

Right. It worked so well then. How come we didn't finish the job?

We can't afford to rely on the word of people when comes to the things that really matter. Like salvation. Like our spirituality. Like our future. Things of life and death. And not just our life and death, but the life's of those around us.

I spend more time working with people who's spirituality is all screwed up because of false religious myths and teachings than other group of people. "Well, I was taught that..."

Really? Where did they get that? Why did they teach it? Where is the foundation for it? Is that actually true?
And yet, people will base huge life changing decisions based on falicy.

I had a person recently tell me they need to postpone their baptism. I asked why. He said because they had gotten angry with a family member. I asked why that should postpone it. He said because they clearly must not be ready. So I asked if christians never get angry and make mistakes.

He didn't have an answer.

The truth is, he was basing his decision on a preconception of what a christian is. Perfect in everything. Never making mistakes. Never getting mad. Never sinning.

Seriously?

But this is what happens when we gain our knowledge of things second, third and fourth hand. It gets distorted.
Most people do not seem to realize that the Apostles in the New Testament were baptizing polygamists and drunkards and slave owners. They were baptizing them wholesale. And they didn't all change right away. That's why there are so many letters in the bible trying to teach the different groups to focus on God and to let him lead their lives to to live those lives rightly.

It's because those lives weren't right the moment they came to God.

This is just an example of the type of religious knowledge that gets ignored or forgotten. So, as result, the way christianity in general treats people who might be less than perfect is based on not remembering that. By that I mean, we have no tolerance for people who to line up perfectly with what we think a good christian should be. We don't baptize them till they are perfect. Even though the Apostles weren't doing that.

And so because many live their lives constructed around information that isn't true, it spreads to those around them and polarizes societies. People walk away from God because of the ignorance of the people they interacted with. They were taught wrong and took the flawed teaching, made it true and based life altering decisions on it.

I see people struggle so much in there spirituality because of this. This more than any other thing.

All because somewhere at some point, someone decided to get lazy with their learning. They just believed what they heard cause it sounded fine. It sounded authoritative. It didn't matter that it was absolutely false. It just sounded good.

There is a fantasy book I read a few yeas ago called Runemasters. In it, the nobles could purchase runes that would grant them different abilities. The abilities would be tied to other people. For example, if you wanted a rune of strenght, you would by one, the rune would be put on you, but the strength it gave you actually came from someone else. The runes only transferred the power.

That really has little to do with what i'm talking about. But at any rate, there was the evil general that was trying to take over the kingdom. And he had aquired hundreds of runes of glamor and speech. He was so handsome and smooth talking that he marched his army right up to the gates of the main opposition, an opposition that out numbered him and would have won easily in a realy fight, and he smiled and told them he was a friend and spoke eloquently and asked them to lower their defences and let him and his army in.

And they did.

Not one person died. Not one arrow shot. Not one sword swung. It ended in the time it took for him to speak the sentence.

All because he looked the part, sounded good and had the right words to say.

That is obviously an over the top example. But the truth is the same kind of thing happens every day in our lives. We heea things. They sound good. Maybe it resonates because we want it to be true. Or we like to person who said it. They are so nice. They have a great smile. They just sound honest.

We can never trust the words of people. Because even if they aren't trying to lie to us, who says that they didn't buy into someone elses lie and are teaching that?

Just because we are smart does not mean we can't be fooled.

I was trying to get this idea accross to some people in bible study a couple weeks ago. I kept reminding them to always go back and study things for themselves and never take the teachers word for it.

And the one lady, bless her for giving me the benefit of the doubt, kept saying "go back to the bible and your pastor."

I kept saying, "Even the pastor can deceive you or be wrong."

And she kept saying "But you are called by God."

She was so sure of my authority. That I couldn't possibly lead her astray because of who I was. That is sooo dangerous.

In the end I had to make it very clear that just because I may have been called to this life I live, that it didn't mean I wouldn't make bad choices and deceive her. Willingly or otherwise.

She didn't like that. But it was true.

Everyone has an oppinion and that's good. But obviously not everyone can be correct.

The thing I want to stress to today is this. Always check the answers yourself. Always go and find out for yourself. Don't just believe the word of the person telling you something. Or the one book you just read. If it matters enough to you that you are considering making decisions based on the information, then go and do the homework.

Let's not have a string of missinformed decisions change the course of our personal histories.

What I say is true. Of course, you won't know for sure until you go back and do the homework.

Don't just take my word for it. I'm just some other bloke saying stuff that might not be true.

But I'm not. It's all true.

Unless it isn't.

But I wouldn't do that.

Or would I?

Hmm...

Have a great night.