Blog 14: That One Thing

Top O’ da mornin’, even tho tis evnin’, to ya.

Must be left over’s from St. Patty’s day.

So, there was this group of people called the Ephesians. This was mostly because they lived in a little place called Ephesus.

These Ephesians were mostly Greco-Roman. Greek thinking Romans. Gentiles. The lived like gentiles lived, worshipped the god’s of the Greek thinking Romans, and worshipped Caesar above all.

That was until Paul showed up and started converting them to Christianity. This Christianity was crazy. It’s God was unlike any other God that had ever existed in any religion ever.

In a letter to these people, Paul told them how this God had sacrificed everything just bring salvation to these people. This was powerful for them because up to that point, no God had ever sacrificed anything for them. Their gods constantly demanded sacrifice from them. Their food. Their land.

Their children.

But instead, this God sacrificed HIS child for THEM. It was crazy. It was insane.

To them, it was beautiful. That someone would go that far just for them, a worthless lowly people.

Paul told them that, afterward, God had rewarded his son for the sacrifice by giving him the inheritance of the Father’s kingdom and power. But even more, that anyone who was willing to serve this God who had done this for them, they could share that inheritance with the Son, this Jesus who had died for them.

The inheritance of a God to a people who lived in poverty and squalor. It was unimaginable. There was nothing that compared to this anywhere. One day, they would be princes to the God who saved them, brothers of the one who died for them, adopted as royalty without penalty.

But over time, other Christians came with selfish ambitions. Jewish Christians who were elitist and racist. They didn’t like that these gentiles, these heathens, could have the grace of God like them, without penalty. They weren’t even circumcised. How could their God bring in this abomination?

Paul showed them that God didn’t have favorites. He told them how this God didn’t have a hierarchy within his people. They were all the same to him. And to a people who were slaves, ground down under the heal of oppression from not only their own emperor, but even their fellow Christians… this gave them hope.

This God wanted to treat them all the same. This God said that they were just as good as those Jews who had known God first and been chosen by God. Now, these Ephesians were being chosen by God as well. This God believed that these Ephesians were just as important as their Caesar. Which was hard because to them, Caesar had been a god himself.

Paul told them how God wanted them to come to Him. They didn’t need a priest in a temple to gain access to God. They could actually talk directly to Him. They didn’t need to bribe the temple priests, and pay temple prostitutes to grant them favors in order for this God to hear them. He was free. He was easy. He wanted them to bother Him. He wanted them to come to him, not timid and afraid, but confident and bold. They could come, and He would listen.

Not only that, but this God wanted to give them a portion of his power. His spirit. He wanted to put part of him in them. No other god had ever done that for his followers. Sometimes the gods would bless an individual with power and renown. But this new God wanted to give ALL his followers this power and spirit.

The Ephesians learned that this Paul had once killed Christians. He had been an enemy of God’s son. Paul and tried to undo everything God was trying to make happen. But instead of punishing Paul, God took him introduced him to the son that had died, and made Paul and important servant with great power. A man who would change the world for this God. A man who single handedly changed the course of Rome itself.

The Ephesians wondered that, if this is what this God does for his enemies, what might he do for his friends?

Paul told them how God had revealed the truth and knowledge of His plans to them. This God wanted them to know everything that was going on. To these Ephesians, this was against everything they knew. The gods didn’t share their plans. They were above that. Humans were but mere insects in the eyes of the gods and not worthy of the plans of the gods and for a God to share his most secret plans of history with them was unimaginable.

Zeus didn’t share his plans. Poseidon didn’t share his plans. Aphrodite didn’t share her plans. But this God?

He shared everything.

But he didn’t just share it with them, he shared with every being in existence. To all those “rulers” of the heavens and earth and under the earth. This was crazy. How powerful was this God if he knew things that the other rulers didn’t? If there were beings in the heavenly realms that didn’t know things this God did, how powerful was he? How big was His domain?

The gods were all limited to their place. Ares was powerful in war, but not in love. Poseidon had power over the sea, but no where else. Zeus was the God of lighting, but not the sea. Some gods ruled the hills, others the valleys.

But this God ruled them all. Had power over them all. Had knowledge of everything and everywhere.

There were rulers and beings and spiritual things. And there was this God who was more than all of them combined.

How could such a thing exist?

But not only that, this God wasn’t petty. Sometimes in history his followers made him seem that way. But all he wanted was to make everyone part of his family. He loved them with a love that had no measure. It couldn’t be imagined.

The Ephesians couldn’t grasp this well. They knew that the gods didn’t love them. The gods tolerated them. The gods demanded them to be afraid and to pay for their lives with their own blood.

But this new God loved them and was willing to pay for them with His own blood.

The Ephesians had known love, but never from a God. And here was a God that claimed to love them so much that there was nothing they could ask for, nothing they could even think of or imagine that he wasn’t able to do for them and that one day He would do for them.

How would this have affected this people? This people who were so poor and powerless and trampled down that they weren’t capable of fulfilling the love they had for the people they loved. They didn’t have the money or influence to make the dreams they had for their loved ones come true. And their gods never were interested in helping.

But this God would. He could do things that they were not able to imagine. He loved them, and had the will and ability to do something about it.

Paul told them how this God loved them, and that this love was greater than all knowledge. Love was more important than all knowledge. Compassion was more important than anything.

This was powerful to these Ephesians because most religion was about secret rights and knowledge. Especially amongst an upstart group trying to bring down the Christians called the Gnostics. To them, salvation was about knowing more. Learning more truth. Learning some piece of secret information that gained them immortality.

But this God was saying that if they would just accept his love and pass it one, that was that was needed to have that salvation and immortality. This God only asked that they would care for everyone they would come in contact with. And that, by doing so, they would understand the character of this God. The God that loved and ruled out of love and not out of fear or anger.

2000 years later, we still haven’t learned this lesson. We are trying to find that piece of information that will redeem us. We hope to gain knowledge as a means unto itself. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge.

Knowledge is good. Great even. But love is better.

God has come under attack in so many ways, mostly because of how his followers have presented him. But most of it isn’t even true. Our God only wanted us to understand what love was and what love means and how to live love in our lives every day toward everyone.

God didn’t ask for religion. He asked for love. God didn’t ask for more rules. He asked for love. God didn’t ask for more doctrine. He asked for love. God didn’t ask for separated groups. He asked for love.

God asked for one thing.

Love.

Blog 13: My Epic Stupidity.

I want to tell you about my epic fail.

And why it’s important.

You know… a story, a lesson… lather, rinse, repeat…

Here it is. An absolutely true story from just this past Saturday.

I wrote this totally sweet sermon. One that I was(and still am) quite proud of. It was informative, interesting, detailed, only moderately relevant, but useful in an interpretation-of-scripture sort of way.

Now, the point of that sermon is completely irrelevant for today’s story. What is important was that I was excited about how cool the subject matter was. Well, cool to me at least. But that’s a different story.

So, there I am, throwin’ it down. I’m throwin’ it down like a Jesus monkey on crack(umm…???). I’m into it. I’m feeling it. The words are flowing. And I’m talking. And I’m talking faster.

As a side note, I tend to exaggerate some. I actually don’t slam the pulpit or shout and scream when I preach.

FYI.

As I’m into it and talking and making my point I made an itsy bitsy little slip.

As it turns out, if you say the words “city should” back to back too quickly, there is a slight risk that you might, let’s say… mix up, the first letters/sounds of each word. “Should” comes out as “could”, and “city” comes out as… well, you know.

As I stood there and blatantly used the descriptive expletive, I kept talking, but was quickly scanning to see if anyone had noticed my slip. I didn’t have to look beyond the second row as my wife, apparently, was having an aneurism from trying to keep the hysterical laughter from spilling out into actual sound.

Apparently, I wasn’t going to get away with it.

But like any “good” preacher, I just pretended nothing had happened and kept on truckin’.

Fortunately, no one, besides my wife, mentioned it to me. It was nice of them all to be understanding of the fact that I’m human, and, apparently, an idiot.

Now, what does this, you ask, have to do with the price of smack in Columbia?

As I reflected on my moment of embarrassment… like ya do… I started thinking about how, while that particular example was relatively innocent, that incident is sort of a metaphor(I have no idea if that’s the correct word…) or analogy(maybe it’s this one…) of a more serious issue.

It’s sort of an adjunct to a previous blog about checking things out and making sure we know what we know.

This, however, is about getting ahead of ones self. Just like how I was talking away and trying to think faster than my mouth could keep up, ending in disaster, we often latch on to ideas and run with them, often to the exclusion of the actual facts. We put an idea together about something and it just fits. It’s perfect. And we go with it. And we share it. And we hold it up as the glowing standard of epiphany. Completely oblivious to the reality of it’s flaws. Completely ignoring those who shed light on our ignorance.

And because our idea is so profound, we start molding the rest of thought around this perfect truth. This idea that impacts the rest of our thought which suddenly starts forming the basis of our larger belief system until we have run headlong down a path without even knowing where we are going.

We liked the idea soo much, we never actually stopped to check out the validity of it. It was just THAT perfect.

We got ahead of ourselves.

I’ve done it. More than once. I’m probably doing it right now. I hope not, but it’s possible.

This is where personal honesty must come in to play. One must be honest enough with themselves to be willing to admit the possibility of personal error. If we don’t, then we don’t have any check or balance in our thinking. It’s just raw brainstorm run amuck.

There’s no intellectual honesty.

It get’s the point where we just start defending our view, because it’s our view. It’s no longer about the facts. It’s purely about me being right and you being wrong. Because if I’m wrong about this, then I might be wrong about something else. And if that’s true, maybe it’s all wrong. Then, not only does my entire belief system collapse, but I also have to acknowledge that someone else was smarter than me.

And, holy gravy, do we humans hate to admit that. Always.

While my verbal snafu isn’t really a problem at all and serves merely as an illustration of a greater point, I did have the real issue slap me in the face twice in the last two weeks. Once because I was a moron and once because someone else was.

Here is mine.

There is a particular belief amongst my people(religious denominational types) that is popular and semi controversial. I’m not going to outline this belief here on these pages. If you really, truly, want to know, I’ll discuss it in private with you. What is important is that I have pretty much always held to the traditional view on the subject. I know, I know… that seems so unlike me. But it’s true. It made sense. At least from a certain perspective. And I was ok with that. It was simple and straightforward.

And I bought into it. So much so, that when people over the years have tried to question it or point out flaws in it, I staunchly, yet politely, let them know that they must be wrong. One person in particular is one of my most trusted friends. His opinion is of great value to me. He forces me to make sure I know what I believe. Even with him, I argued until we just agreed to disagree. Sure, I thought he was wrong. But mostly, it was because I wanted to be right.

We’ve had the discussion a number of times over the years. Even recently. And every time we’ve finished the discussion I’ve always left with the idea that in no way was I buying what he was selling. Not at all.

So last week I’m reading my bible. I’m in the middle of prayer meeting. After we spend our time in group prayer and praise, we then have a bible study/discussion. And during this study, we start with our chapter, take turns reading verses till we read all the way through. When finished, I go back to the beginning of the chapter, and lead the discussion by taking each verse or idea reading it aloud again and asking questions.

Well, we’ve finished and I’m now re-reading and asking questions. As I’m re-reading one section, I read this one verse. And in this verse, it blatantly an directly related to this issue that my friend and I have discussed time and again. It gave the answer(one of a number of verses, it turns out…) to the dilemma of our disagreement.

Once again, I was slapped in the face with solid proof that I am, in fact, an idiot. It was so obvious that I was wrong. I couldn’t have been more wrong. And as I sat there staring at the verse, the rest of the room wondering why I was just sitting there staring at the bible, all the implications of my mistake just fell together like pieces to a puzzle.

The obviousness was embarrassing. For me to have missed something so simple was an insult to my pride and ego(I think we’ve talked about that one before as well…).

I was wrong.

I was going to have to eat crow.

I had been so sure. Completely confident in my stance.

Completely confident in a fallacy.

My friend knew it, and had been very patient with me.

Now, I won’t lie to you. He has a couple other conjoining theories that I still think are inaccurate. But really, that doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that, I was inaccurate and didn’t want to see it.

I refused to see it.

That is very, very dangerous.

The kicker is, the argument for my point wasn’t even grounded in the bible. (I’m laughing right now as I think about how utterly stupid I can be. It’s awesome. *ugh*)

I’m not even going to go into details on the other one. Mostly because my failure was just as bad as hers, and I’d be a hypocrite to point at her for playing with matches while I’m in the process of dousing my head in gas and tossing a lighter on it.

But basically, she tore me up one side and down the other this week because I wasn’t teacher her what she already knew.

That’s right. You didn’t read that wrong. The point of bible study is to go beyond and teach what is not obvious and to give more and go deeper. And for her, going deeper is to have someone recite to her exactly what she already knows, because in that way, she won’t have to think about it and she runs zero possibility of being wrong in some way.

You should have been there. It was classic.

And yet, she was only doing the same thing I’d been doing for years. It seems that the students really don’t rise any higher than their teachers.

We both got ahead of ourselves. Completely self assured in our intellectual smugness. Totally engrossed in our own understanding that we denied the very possibility that we made a mistake.

This can’t happen.

It mustn’t happen. Not if we want to grow as a person. Not if we want to become something more than we are. Not if we want to be useful to those around us in any meaningful way.

Another friend of mine has this quote on her Facebook page.

"Let us dare to read, think, speak, write. Let every sluice of knowledge be open and set flowing." -- John Adams

This is a powerful principle and challenge. Powerful because it pushes us to grow. Powerful because it absolutely requires personal honesty and intellectual humility.

It’s the difference between epic failure and epic success.

Blog 12: Perspective.

May the force be with you.

Hmm, is that even a greeting?

I have no idea.

Today the temperature rose over 25 degrees by lunch time. And it was still below and it was still -2 outside. Do you know what that means?

It is very... very... cold outside.

It's been like this most of the week. Crazy cold. I know, there are places in Siberia, or Alaska, or Canada, or the NORTH POLE... that are colder. But this is much colder than we normally get around here. Oh, it get's cold. But temperatures like -32 and -28 are usually what our wind chill is.But the actual temp? Ya... brrrr.

It's an interesting perspective to have my furnace set to 70 and I'm still freezing inside. I thought, "what if my furnace stopped working? What if my car broke down 30 miles from nowhere? What if I got super powers and could create cold with my mind?"

Actually, I have problems with keeping my train of thought focused. Ignore the last one up there.

But I thought about having to brave the elements. I bundled up and walked outside to the curb to bring in my trash container. And in the 30 seconds it took me to run down and back, my fingers were completely numb. As I warmed up inside, I was confronted with the reality of how fragile the barrier is between comfort and agony. One would think that, after the things I've been through over the last few years, I would have had a good grasp on the concept of not taking anything for granted.

Well, one would be wrong. Apparently.

I had to pick up one of my poorer church members for prayer meeting this week. As I waited outside his apartment building, I watched people come in and out of this subsidized housing complex. People without cars. People bundling up and walking to the store.

In -17 degree weather. And lots of wind.

And my first thought was, as I watched one particular man stroll out... the kind of guy who gives the appearanc of one who's elevator doesn't go to the top, if you know what I mean... as I watched him go out, my first thought was, "Sucks to be him."

And immediately I felt ashamed. Because it really DOES suck to be him. The chances that this guy was going to have frost bite before he got home were pretty good. And this is what he does every day. How close was he to not having a home at all?

How close was he to having to sleep under a bridge? When it's -30 at night and windy?

It was at this point that I realized just how blessed I really am. I think about all the whining I do about bills. All the "compromise" that has to go in to planning a good vacation with my wife. You know what I'm talking about, right? That whole cost vs. fun discussion? We want have X amount of fun, be we only have Y amount of money?

This Christmas I bought my wife a new laptop. Her old one was literally days away from permanent death. So, I found the proper bargain and bought it for her. I also found the bargain for me as well, since my computer, which is even older than hers, is dying. Slower than hers, but still dying.

After Christmas I went and bought mine. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was close enough. One must be responsible and make the proper compromises, right?

Well, to make a long story short, after 4 days I had to take it back cause it was broken. No, I didn't break it. The tech guy was like, "ya, this isn't your fault, it shouldn't do this."So he opened a new one. It did the same thing. He opened another. It also did the same thing. He opened on of the same brand but different model? Same thing.

Broken. All of them.

In the end, they refunded my money and I gave back the computer.

But I figured, hey, I'll just find something else.

Well, then the brakes exploded on our car.

Exploded is probably an exageration. No one died. The car is fine. But I did have to pay to fix them.

There went the computer money. To this day, I still do not have a new computer. When I did the math and realized I wouldn't be able to get my new laptop, I was pissed. I was so mad. I couldn't believe how unfair it was that I basically had to give up my christmas present and not get it back.

And as I sat in the car staring at a building full of people who are half a well-fare check from freezing to death, I began to see what a blessed/spoiled child I was. It wasn't enough that I'm not dead from disease. If I couldn't have my toys, I needed to pout like a baby and tell God how unfair it is.

And here is a guy who is walking to where ever in ungodly weather. I have a house. A nice house. Two cars that run every day. An awesome wife. Good friends. Good family. I never go hungry. I always have hot showers.

Really, I live like a king.

I am so blessed and I never even acknowledge it. Almost never, anway. Instead, I act like I deserve it. Like it's owed to me somehow.

Perspective is such an important thing. Sometimes perspective is the only thing between happiness and discouragement. Actually, I'd say perspective is always the only thing between happiness and discouragement.

I know. This is all cliche, right? The preacher telling people that they need to look at the bad in their life differently so they can be happy.Right. Or, telling people to be grateful for what they have and stop their whining.

Right.

Well, maybe those things are all true. I'm sure they are. But I think we hear it so much, sometimes we stop to think about the truth of it all. Ya, I've been sick and I've had to stretch paychecks. But I could be homeless. And right now that would mean almost certain death. If not, I'd wish it did. I could be alone. But I'm not. I have a crazy cool wife.

What is in your life that you take for granted without even realizing it?

At this moment, for me, it's heat. Because I'm sitting in my office in my basement, and it's down right cold down here. But i'm wearing a t shirt. So, really, it can't be THAT cold.

Perspective. It's such an amazing thing.

Perspective is why a lesbian couple can walk into one of my churches, and one person will welcome them with a hug, and another person will complain and be disgusted that they would dare to enter "God's house."

True story, by the way.

Perspect is the difference between order and chaos. Patterns and random. One person's random is another person's pattern.

Have you ever heard of Fractals? I'm not going to trying to bore you with the math, because I would just butcher it to pieces and there is at least one math genius that I know of who is going to read this and I would prefer to avoid the embarassment.

But the short of it is this. Fractals are a type of math that, for all practical purpose, shows the pattern in random. It's an equation that, if you plot it out on a graph, makes all kinds of beautiful, albeit chaotic looking patterns. They really are pretty. You've probably all seen them. Lots of swirls with jaggedy edges all over them. But definately not orderly by any means.

Until you start looking closely. If you take a small piece of the shape, and blow it up big, you notice that the small piece looks exactly like the large piece. And if you magnify a small piece of that smaller chunk, you will notice that the even smaller piece also looks exactly like the larger chunk. As a matter of fact, it doesn't matter how far you zoom in, it will always look exactly like the large piece. It will follow the exact same pattern.

What appears chaotic isn't chaotic at all. It's actually following a very specific pattern. It's just not a pattern you can see till you change your perspective.The story and applications for fractals are incredibly fascinating. The implications of fractals are huge. Mind blowing even.

Take the forest, for example. Fractal math showed that if you take one tree in a forest and measure that tree at multiple points on it's trunk, branches, leaves, etc... and plot out all these measurements in a fractal equation, you can use the equation from that tree to predict the growth of the entire forest.

I don't mean just the size of the trees. But their location. The density of the forest itself. You can predict how the forest will spread out as it grows.

No joke.

A bunch of math guys proved it. They measured a single tree, then randomly sampled the forest. Different trees, sizes, species, etc... all of it. It ploted exactly the same.

Cool stuff.

But the point is, how random does a forest look to you? It's not ordered. The trees aren't all lined up. They aren't all the same type. They aren't all the same size. They aren't all the same distance from each other. In no visible way is there any repeating pattern that is discernable. It's all just completely beautiful and random chaos.

Except that it isn't. It follows a very specific pattern. It's just a pattern we can't see. We lack the proper perscpective.

I could go on and on about how there is no such thing as chaos and random, but that everything follows a pattern and has an order to it.

Because I believe that is true. Math is proving that more and more every day.

But instead I want to point out how perspective shapes everything we see and do. As much as it's cliche and as much as no one wants to admit it, happiness and despair, success and failure... it is all completely and utterly dependant on our perspective. On how we choose to quantify things. On how we choose to measure things.

Whether it's how you measure blessing or success, or how you quantify your own self worth, all of it is based on our own perspective.

Ask a color blind person what color his socks are. Perspective shapes our reality.I met a guy recently who is completely color blind. By that I mean, he doesn't see any colors at all. Only shades of grey. Everything he sees is a shade of grey. He doesn't know what yellow looks like. Or blue. Or red. He only knows what yellow is based on the shade of grey that he sees. And he does a really good job. You would never know that he's completely color blind.

His perspective is much different than mine in a real way.

How about the autistic savant? Can't figure out how to tie his shows, but can count change by the sound it makes as it hits the floor, and can play master level piano arrangements without ever taking a lesson, or sees music as a language expressed by math.

What does his world look like?

Or, I suppose, the real question is... what does our world ACTUALLY look like?

Here is the truth and, ultimately, the point I would like to make here.

We see exactly what we choose to see. What we want to see. Maybe not what we think we want to see, but in reality, what we want to see.

Our perspective and our reality are the same. It is a chosen "reality." Blessing, curse, order, chaos, happiness, dispair,... these are the illusions of our minds eye.

Here is the question I want to leave you with.

What does your world look like?

And, why?

Blog 11: Let Go My Ego.

So, my wife is out of the country.

I've been alone all week. And it's cold. I'm the guy who has to have the house cool at night because he gets too hot when sleeping. I'll spare you the details of how that works in any practical way. The point is, this week, without my wife... I had to add two extra blankets to the bed. Not only that, I had to fold them in half and lay them on my side. That's how cold it was without her there. When you consider, normally, I have to hang one leg out of the covers just to keep from bursting into flames, well, that says alot.

Oh ya, I said I wasn't going to start giving details. Sorry.

Did I mention it's lonely here?

My point?

Actually, I don't have one there. This is mostly a cry for sympathy.

Is it working?

Hey, I forgot... Hello everyone.

Yes yes, I realize that I was so caught up in my own lonely, cold, pizza-eating self-pity that I forgot to say hello. I'm sorry. I'm a bad man.

Well, on to more important things.

I'm going to come right out and say a couple things to start off. I try to say what I believe honestly and clearly, all while being as open and inoffensive as possible. I'm not out to harm anyones sensitivities. And, so far, no one has complained, so... victory is mine! (man, Family Guy is funny... sorry, bad reference.)

I say all that because I'm going to begin with this. I believe in God. I believe God is real. I believe God is a real being. I believe in the Christian God. Who also happens to be the Jewish and Islamic God. Who, as it turns out, was also part of many of the early pantheons of gods that many early cultures believed in. He is referenced in Babylonian mythology. But that isn't the point here. The point is, I believe He is real. I will concede that, for the most part, we don't know what we are talking about when it comes to the nature of God... but I still believe He exists.
Which means, by extention, I believe in the existance of the devil. Satan. Lucifer. I believe that he too is real. My beliefs of him are much more traditional than my beliefs on the nature of God, but again, the history and specifics are all irrelevant for this discussion.

The point is, I believe they exist. But today, I'm not focusing on them so much. It's important for me to say that because of the question I'm about to ask you.

The question is this.

Who/what is a persons/mankinds worst enemy?

If, after reading what I said just before that question, you still say "the devil"... well, you don't get a cookie. The answer "the devil" doesn't count for this quiz. For two reasons.

One. If you are christian/religious, then you already assume that he's the baddest baddy around. It's a given. So we aren't going there.

Two. If you aren't a christian/religious, then you don't believe in the devil anyway, so going their is virtually pointless. So I guess what I should have asked is...

Who/what is a persons/mankinds second worst enemy?

Ok, fair enough. Actually, both questions are accurate depending on which group you fall into, but you get the point.

Just think about yourself for a moment. Short of the originator of evil, who is the worst enemy you have? What is the worst enemy you have?

Many of you probably find the answer obvious. But just in case you don't, if you want the answer, go look in a mirror and tell me what you see?

You are your worst enemy. I am my worst enemy. We are our own worst enemies.

Now, if you gave that answer, you are correct, but that is still a bit of a vague cop-out answer. What does that mean? Why is that true? How can that be true? In what way is that true?

I'll make it simple. One word. Three letters.

Ego.

You want to know what makes our own lives so difficult sometimes? It's our own ego. I'm not saying other things don't contribute. I'm just saying this is at the top of the list.

Ego.

What is it that causes us to react in any given way? Or maybe I should say, what causes us to react negatively to stimulus?

Let's say you are driving in your car, and someone cuts you off. Do you get cranky about it? Some of you might not. And those who do, some of you probably keep it inside without screaming. But even so, the feelings arose.

Why?

Ego. You got wronged. The cut you off. Pulled in front of you when it was your turn to be somewhere. They can't do that to you. You are more important. It inconvenienced you. You. How dare they? Don't they know you have places to be? Don't they know they are moronic jerks?

Ego. In that scenario, your status was more important than theirs. You were self centered. You were Egocentric. You weren't concerned with their needs. Only yours.

Now, you might say, "that isn't wrong." Fair enough. It's not. At least, not always. What if that person who cut you off had a pregnant woman in the back seat, but you just couldn't see her? And they were racing to the hospital? Sure, not real safe, but would you have gotten upset if you had known that? If you had known there was actually a reason for the seemingly rude behaviour?

Ego is what causes you to NOT stop and think about it. It tells you to react on self interest.

How about this. You are working on something. Your car. Your computer. Some project. It doesn't matter what it is. But you are working on it. And you've done it before. You know what you are doing. While you are doing it, some one comes up and tells you that you are doing it wrong.

How does that make you feel? Do you get angry inside? Or at least a little cranky inside? Does it frustrate you? If so, why? What if they had said that what you are doing works, but there is a much better way of doing it?

Would it matter? Would you still be upset? Probably?

Look, we don't like to admit it, but we usually get a little upset when this happens.

But why? (insert the word "ego", here.)

What is happening at that moment? Well, you've done what you are doing many times. You know what you are doing. Do you need someone telling you what to do? Or how to do it? Or that they can do it better? Cause really, that's what they are saying. If they can recognize that you aren't doing it a good way, then, they must think they can do it better.

How dare they. Coming up to you and implying that you don't know what you are doing? That you might not know what you are talking about? That's an insult to your abilities and intelligence. That is them saying they are better than you.

Now, you might not have all those words come into your head. But the emotions show up that go with them. At least some of them.

That is your Ego. Your ego doesn't want to be told what to do or that it doesn't know what it's doing. It doesn't like the suggestion that someone else might have a better way, or might know something you don't. Your ego interprets all that stuff as if it's a threat or challenge to who you are.

Because nothing is more important than your Ego. At least, so your ego thinks.

Just to be clear, I keep saying "your ego." But I'm talking about mine as well. I'm no better. I have an ego. I get pissed off when someone tries to tell me my business. Oh, I might smile and nod and be polite, but inside, I'm screaming at them to shut their pie hole and mind their own business. Inside, I'm telling them that I don't need some half wit moron telling me what is true or not.

And that may work for us really well, right up till the moment we are slapped in the face with irrefutable proof that they, in fact, were correct. Not us. Not me.

Them.

Well, the ego can't handle that. The ego can't handle the fact that sometimes, we don't know what we are doing, or at the very least, someone else might be able to do it better, or know more about it.

Our Ego is our worst enemy because it convinces of things that many times just aren't true. Trying to protect us from the appearance of failure in our minds. "No, it can't be my fault. There is no way I am wrong. It must be Ted's fault."

Have you ever done that? Something went wrong at work and immediately without hesitation you said, "I didn't do it." or "It wasn't my fault."

I've done it more times than I can remember. It's down right embarrassing as I think about it.

That's ego.

Our Ego tries to control our world. Tell us what to think and how to react. And, really, I don't think this is anything that most of us don't already know.

So why prattle on about it, then?

Because Ego is why Christianity, and religion in general, is so screwed up. Ego is why many people refuse to learn more about those who are different or think differently. Ego is why "christians" spend most of their time fighting with each other over who is more right instead of working together to save lives.

Ego is why so many people never find salvation.

And I'm not just talking about non-christians. Ego is why so many "christians" never find salvation.

Because ego won't let them be wrong. Ego won't let them be wrong and realize they have something to learn. Ego won't let them open their eyes and see truth. Ego won't let them open their heart and love.

Ego won't let them see God.

Ego only lets them see themself. And that is the exact opposite of salvation.

Now, some of you are probably shouting "that's the devil at work."

Well, sure. I believe that. But here is the truth.

We don't need the devil to make us be that way. We are more than happy to do that on our own.

For us, the devil only prods us to do that which we already want to do. If that weren't true, it wouldn't be called "temptation." Because if we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't be tempted.

But let's back up the time machine. Back to Lucifer. Before he fell. Who tempted him?

No one. All he needed was his ego and a lack of self control.

Now, we could argue whether or not Lucifer had an ego. But that's a metaphysical argument for another time. I'm just going to say that I think he does and did no matter what his physical make-up actually is.

The point is, we are our enemies. We cause ourselves to have problems with others. We create our own conflict. Sure, someone else might start the trouble. But we don't have to help it out.

I'm talking spiritually and relationally here. If someone steps up and is trying to harm you or your family, I think we are dealing in a slightly different realm. I'm not talking about that.

Spritual and relational. Self centered vs other centered. Egocentric self importance vs open selfless compassion and self confidence.

Wait, what?

That's right. Selfless and self confident go together. Selfish and self confident almost never go together.

If one isn't comfortable with themself, they are not capable of seeing beyond themselves to focus on others. We are too caught up with trying to make ourselves comfortable instead of just being comfortable. And more importantly, the selfish person is trying to get other people to see them as confident and comfortable, while a truly confident and comfortable person doesn't care who sees it. They simply aren't worried about it.

And because they aren't, they can worry about other things. Like other people.

I'm sure you realize it, but this is one of the biggest themes in the bible. What were the words of Solomon?

Pride goes before a fall? A haughty heart before destruction?

The entire gospel is themed around this concept. They just never used the word Ego.

Jesus and Paul and the others kept talking about emptying ourselves to self. Paul called it "dying to the old man."

Did you ever notice in scripture that it was the person of WEAK faith that was trying to force everyone to do things a certain way? And the person of STRONG faith was able to be comfortable doing just about anything because his "faith" permitted it?

That's because the person of STRONG faith had nothing to prove to anyone. The person of WEAK faith is trying to prove himself to everyone.

The person of STRONG faith can roll with life because of that. The person of WEAK faith cannot.

That is because the person of STRONG faith has removed his/her ego from the equation and allowed God and others into their life. The person of WEAK faith is still letting their ego show everyone how everyone one how great they are, and trying to fill others with their big egocentric based focused. Trying to conform the world to the whims of their ego. The whims of their view.

They don't want everyone to revolve around God. They want everyone, including God, to revolve around them.

We can blame Lucifer for all this if we want. And don't get me wrong, he deserves a whole lot of blame.

But in the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves. No one makes us act a certain way. We choose to. No one chooses for us.

Pride and ego. Flip sides of the same coin.

The question is, "What is driving you?"

Happy Sabbath, peace, and good night.

Blog 10: The Hole Meaning.(yes I spelled that correctly)

Hey y'all.

Hmm... that isn't the accent that I normally speak with. How about...

Cheers.

Nope... that's not mine either. How about...

Hey and stuff.

Ya.

So... Hey and stuff.

About a week or so ago, I was having lunch with a couple of pastors. We get together every month to be a support for each other. It's usually just some food and chit chat and some "hey we did this recently" and just general sharing and the like.

He was telling us about this guy who goes to his church. This guy... we will call him "Ted"(not his real name), started attending my friends church not quite 2 years ago. Ted had been listening to a Christian radio station, one that will remain nameless, and had learned all the things that my friends church taught. When Ted came to the church, he was so excited to find a this church that was teaching all the things he had already learned. He was excited to have a place to worship and he was eager to be a part of what was going on there. He was going to be baptized.

My friend was pretty excited for Ted, but also for the fact that this was going to be easy work for him. Ted already knew everything he needed to know. He didn't have to teach the man anything. Ted was ready to go.

However, Ted is a smart man. He didn't want to rush it. He's a careful kind of guy. Wanted to attend a while and make sure this was right. After a while, Ted's excitement started to fade. He started skipping church. He sited all kinds of pressure from his family and from his job. He wasn't sure if this is what he wanted. He wasn't sure if he wanted to continue or not.

This was about 9 months or so after Ted had started attending.

My friend wasn't sure what to do. Ted already had all the information. He had already learned all the facts. He didn't know what else he could do to help Ted besides just continuing to pray for him.

One day my friend decided to try giving him another book to read. Well, a couple chapters from a book. Something that my friend felt was a really great sketch of who Jesus is and what He has done for us.

Ted read it. Then he read it again. After that, he read it again.

Ted came to church the next week and was on the verge of tears.

Why, you might ask? If Ted already new everything he needed to know, if he already had all the facts and information, what could that book possibly have said that he didn't already know?

If you asked that, then you asked a great question.

My friend asked him what was wrong. Ted replied that, he had been studying the bible and learning all this stuff, and trying order his life around what he thought was true, but until that moment, he hadn't understood that he was forgiven.

He didn't know that Jesus had forgiven him. He didn't understand that he didn't have to feel guilty. He didn't understand that he could come to Jesus, and that Jesus would accept him.

Now, if you aren't a Christian, then you are probably thinking, "so what?"

If you are a Christian, then you are probably asking "how can someone learn about God and the bible and not know that he or she is forgiven, since it's sort of the point?"

Both would be asking great questions.

We might ask, "What was he being taught? What was he learning?"

"Was it a failure of the teacher and teaching? Was it a failure of the student?"

The answer to those last two is probably "Yes" and "Yes."

In the last blog, I bored you a bit with talk about making sure you check the facts and not just trust anybody who is trying to teach something.

This time, it's the other side of it.

All the time Ted was studying, he found exactly what he was looking for. Information. Facts. The step by step list of how to be a Christian. You know those lists right? 7 Steps to Losing 20 Pounds in 2 Weeks! 5 Easy Steps to Becoming a Successful Person.

As most of us find out, this stuff usually fails. Just like it failed for Ted.

Because, Ted found exactly what he was looking for.

The problem is, Ted didn't know what he was he was looking for. Or at least, didn't know what was there to be found. And the fact that the teachers who had taught him hadn't taught it to him is highly suggestive as well, but I'm not going to go there.

Here is a truth. A person usually finds exactly what they are looking for. It may not be what they think they are looking for, and it may not be what they need to find. But it is what they are looking for.

The question is, do we know what we NEED to find? Do we know what we NEED to be looking for? Are we asking the right questions? Are we asking any questions at all?

What do we want out of life? Where do we want life to go? Do we even know?

Ted didn't. Ted was like everyone else. Wandering around, trying to be a good person, and trying to live with the guilt of his failures. Trying to atone for his life. Trying to create fulfillment in himself.

In the end, he finally realized that it wasn't something he could do by following steps. By learning facts and figures. It required a different type of learning. Not information, but meaning.

Now he understands that his life means something.

Even if you are not a Christian, this is still true. Everyone is searching for something. We just don't always know what. A purpose. A meaning. An answer to the question "why am I here?" "What is my purpose?"

Most everyone is trying to a fill a hole in their life. Some people try to fill that hole with facts and information. Whether those facts are religious or secular doesn't matter. Neither will succeed, usually. Information by itself does little for us. Information that leads us somewhere does.

Ted looked at the information and thought that IT was the destination. Ted is a classic Christian example. An example that is way too common. One that seems to happen more and more every time I turn around.

Here is how it works. A person learns something. Have you ever learned something and it made you a little excited? "Wow, I never knew that! That is so cool!" Or something like that.

Those are good moments. Some information you didn't have and now you do and you feel pretty good about yourself for having improved your status in someway. It brings an emotion high.

You keep learning, you keep searching, and each new bit that you learn brings with it another "ah ha" moment, and it feels good.

But what happens when the "ah ha" moments stop happening? Not much new is coming anymore, and with it, no more emotional highs. Everything becomes mundane again. No more excitement, no more higher joy. Just normalness.

It's because we tend to believe that the information was the goal. The facts were the destination. What we usually don't notice is that we never really do anything useful with these facts. They usually don't change us. We fail to apply it in the right way.

That's what Ted did. That's what the bulk of Christians do. It's what the bulk of non-Christians do, for that matter.
A Christian comes into a church so excited about what he/she has learned. But then, in about 9 months to a year, they realize that they really aren't learning anything new and the excitement is largely gone. They start to feel disenchanted and finally run out of reasons to keep coming.

Their hole never got filled. They didn't connect with anything.

Which, really, is the point right there. Every human has a desire to connect in something way with something more than just them. They need to feel important. Special.

Connected with something bigger. Something with meaning. Perhaps something full of love?

And the hard thing is that, finding that usually has very little to do with raw knowledge and information. It's not like trying to find the code to cracking a safe.

Ted's example is one that I see so much it's sometimes depressing.

I met with a lady this past week. Her story was just like Ted's. Ironically, the same radio station. Again, I won't go there.

She had questions. She doesn't go to church. But she knows all the stuff church teaches. All the rules, the rights, the wrongs.(or so she thinks... just like Ted)

Her questions, while important, were largely irrelevant. They were minor detail questions. Insignificant stuff that really has little baring on anything.

However, I could tell that she wasn't at peace. You interact with enough people and you start to be able to tell the difference very quickly when someone is happy and when someone is faking happiness.

She was faking.

But I didn't want to push her. I told her she was always welcome to come and talk to me and to come to anything my church had going on and I told her when all of our different meetings were, but I made it very clear to her that if all she wanted to do was talk to me, that was ok too.

She asked me if she had to come to church to be saved.

That is a question full of obviousness that is just waiting to explode all over.

I answered it. I said, "No." Cause it's the truth. Just so we are clear.

She said, "ok."

I said, "May I ask why you don't go to any church?" She had mentioned that earlier.

Her answer was that she didn't feel she was "holy" enough to go to church. Her life wasn't perfect. Not real bad... she said she hadn't ever done anything horrible. But it wasn't perfect. She still messed up and made mistakes. She didn't feel acceptable.

Well, the problem at this point was very obvious. So I asked the obvious question.

"Do you feel like you are forgiven?"

She turned away and started to cry.

The answer, again, obvious.

But she spoke, "Well, ya... I guess, well, I don't know... "

That translates as a "no."

I asked her if she had ever asked for forgiveness.

Her response was, "Ya... well, I don’t' know... I don't feel like I can. God won't want to listen to me. I'm not good enough."

Now, mind you she was "saved" when she was 15. Baptized and everything. And now she’s about 60.

Mind you, she's been "learning" all this good stuff from the preachers and teachers on this radio station. And while I could mock the radio station, the truth is, it doesn't just happen with that radio station. She had done all the official bible studies as well.

And, she and Ted aren't the only two. I'm am studying with no less than 6 people right now, who are exactly the same way. To put that in perspective, I'm only studying with 6 people. So, that's 100% of everyone I’m studying with outside of my regular group studies. And trust me when I tell you, many of the ones in those group studies are just like that.

I explained to her that none of her fears were true. I showed her from the bible, I explained it in analogy, I used stories, I pulled out every thing I knew to use. All of it just to help her understand that she is loved, forgiven, and that she doesn't have to feel guilty, and that she can go to God any time she wants.

Again, we can ask why it never dawned her to ask. Why it never dawned on her to look for that answer. Why it never dawned on those teachers to tell her. Why it never dawned on those bible study writers to teach that.

The point is, we need to understand what we are missing, before we can find it.

In the middle of trying to make sure no one is fooling us, we need to make sure we aren't fooling ourselves.

We can't fill our holes with science or religion. Facts or figures or information.

That hole is where meaning goes. Love. Connectedness. Purpose.

As a Christian, I would say God. But even if you don't buy into God, the principle is still the same.

We all want our lives to be about more than just existing.

I'll leave you with this.

Whatever your search is, whatever you are looking for, whatever you need... don't let yourself get lost in the details. Don't lose site of the forest because all those pesky trees keep getting in the way.

Find your perspective.

Find a way to be complete.

Blog 9: It's All True Unless It Isn't

Shazam!

Hmm... I keep saying that hoping that one of these times I will turn into Captain Marvel, but it never seems to happen. Don't tell me comic books lied to me again?

Well, today's post is brought to you today by the letters "A" and "Q and the number "3."

Once again, it's been too long. I could make excuses. They might even be true. But they would still be excuses, so I won't bother.

I have a cold.

Ok, that's sort of an excuse. But not really. Did it make you feel bad for me? That was the purpose.

Ok, a question for you. How many of you like it when people who clearly don't know what they are talking about try to speak authoritatively about something in a manner ment to convince you they are correct?

Does that make you happy?

I get it all the time. Good, well meaning people trying convince me about something about which they know nothing about. I sometimes wonder if people think to themselves "hey, there's a pastor, I must attempt dazzle him with my brilliance." It's as if sometimes I think people feel they need to prove something to me.

I'm not sure why. I'm just another guy with a semi fancy title.

I mean, we all get those email forwards from people in which they are trying to warn us about some cleaver scheme or deadly food which turns out to be false 99.9% of the time. But a whole string of someones bought into it and decided to send it around the internet hoping to annoy/help/dazzle/amaze someone by the information there in.

Then there is the christian example. "Doesn't it say in the bible that...(insert idiodic statement here)?" or "I heard some preacher say once that... (insert another idiodic statment here)?" as if because a preacher said it must absolutely be true. You know, because preachers are never wrong.

Then there is the science example. "If you take rocks and frog urine and boil them with ginseng and drink it at exactly 92 degrees, you will never ever get sick." or "my grandma told me once that if you...(you know what to put here)?"

Pick your walk of life. Religious, secular, whatever... there are always people ready to dazzle you with knowledge they don't actually posses.

So the lesson for today? Search out the truth.

Urban legends, religious or scientific myths and other here say abound in our culture. Alot of the time they are part of our knowledge base without even knowing they are there. At some point we bought into the lie and stuck fiction where fact should be. All of us have done it at some point.

I'm no less guilty.

And in casual conversation, when we weren't prepared and we can't remember and we go "You know, I can't remember but I swear I read once that...", well, that's forgiveable. We all do it.

But then there are the conversations that matter. The ones that change lives. The ones where the information presented will alter the way in which someone makes a real decision. Then... it's not so forgiveable.

Myths, legends, old wives tales... call them what you want... so much of it has krept into our way of life. Sometimes it's in the form of our traditions. Sometimes it's in our ritual (which is usually part of our tradition). Sometimes it's in our fundamental belief system.

And sometimes we have grabbed onto it so hard, that even when we are presented with the clear, irrefutable proof that we are being irrational, we still cling to what we think we know instead of learning something new and useful. Comfort and ignorance over progress and learning.

Let's think about it in a political way. I'm not going to expound in any way about our candidates for president. But if we vote based on what we heard someone say about them, instead of actually researching what these people have done and what their history says about them, we would be really stupid.

A wise person votes based on an informed decision, not based on a preconceived notion, or a missquoted rumors.
The rest of our lives should be no different. The history of christianity should teach us that above all else. For hundreds of years christianity committed attrocities and got away with it because of the ignorance of the people. Sure, sometimes it was forced ignorance. But sometimes not.

Today, in an era of unpresidented information dissemination, we have the opportunity to learn in a way no one in history has been able to. All the information we need is at our disposal. The rocks of history have been overturned and the secrets have been spilled.

And yet, there are many who would rather stick to the error of history, than acknowledge it's falicies.
In the realm in which I work and live, I hear all the time things like, "Well, they would never teach this back in my day." or "Give me that old time religion. It's good enough for me."

It's funny. Cause, if it was good enough, then we wouldn't be here anymore. "We need to do the things we did when I was a kid. That's how to teach people."

Right. It worked so well then. How come we didn't finish the job?

We can't afford to rely on the word of people when comes to the things that really matter. Like salvation. Like our spirituality. Like our future. Things of life and death. And not just our life and death, but the life's of those around us.

I spend more time working with people who's spirituality is all screwed up because of false religious myths and teachings than other group of people. "Well, I was taught that..."

Really? Where did they get that? Why did they teach it? Where is the foundation for it? Is that actually true?
And yet, people will base huge life changing decisions based on falicy.

I had a person recently tell me they need to postpone their baptism. I asked why. He said because they had gotten angry with a family member. I asked why that should postpone it. He said because they clearly must not be ready. So I asked if christians never get angry and make mistakes.

He didn't have an answer.

The truth is, he was basing his decision on a preconception of what a christian is. Perfect in everything. Never making mistakes. Never getting mad. Never sinning.

Seriously?

But this is what happens when we gain our knowledge of things second, third and fourth hand. It gets distorted.
Most people do not seem to realize that the Apostles in the New Testament were baptizing polygamists and drunkards and slave owners. They were baptizing them wholesale. And they didn't all change right away. That's why there are so many letters in the bible trying to teach the different groups to focus on God and to let him lead their lives to to live those lives rightly.

It's because those lives weren't right the moment they came to God.

This is just an example of the type of religious knowledge that gets ignored or forgotten. So, as result, the way christianity in general treats people who might be less than perfect is based on not remembering that. By that I mean, we have no tolerance for people who to line up perfectly with what we think a good christian should be. We don't baptize them till they are perfect. Even though the Apostles weren't doing that.

And so because many live their lives constructed around information that isn't true, it spreads to those around them and polarizes societies. People walk away from God because of the ignorance of the people they interacted with. They were taught wrong and took the flawed teaching, made it true and based life altering decisions on it.

I see people struggle so much in there spirituality because of this. This more than any other thing.

All because somewhere at some point, someone decided to get lazy with their learning. They just believed what they heard cause it sounded fine. It sounded authoritative. It didn't matter that it was absolutely false. It just sounded good.

There is a fantasy book I read a few yeas ago called Runemasters. In it, the nobles could purchase runes that would grant them different abilities. The abilities would be tied to other people. For example, if you wanted a rune of strenght, you would by one, the rune would be put on you, but the strength it gave you actually came from someone else. The runes only transferred the power.

That really has little to do with what i'm talking about. But at any rate, there was the evil general that was trying to take over the kingdom. And he had aquired hundreds of runes of glamor and speech. He was so handsome and smooth talking that he marched his army right up to the gates of the main opposition, an opposition that out numbered him and would have won easily in a realy fight, and he smiled and told them he was a friend and spoke eloquently and asked them to lower their defences and let him and his army in.

And they did.

Not one person died. Not one arrow shot. Not one sword swung. It ended in the time it took for him to speak the sentence.

All because he looked the part, sounded good and had the right words to say.

That is obviously an over the top example. But the truth is the same kind of thing happens every day in our lives. We heea things. They sound good. Maybe it resonates because we want it to be true. Or we like to person who said it. They are so nice. They have a great smile. They just sound honest.

We can never trust the words of people. Because even if they aren't trying to lie to us, who says that they didn't buy into someone elses lie and are teaching that?

Just because we are smart does not mean we can't be fooled.

I was trying to get this idea accross to some people in bible study a couple weeks ago. I kept reminding them to always go back and study things for themselves and never take the teachers word for it.

And the one lady, bless her for giving me the benefit of the doubt, kept saying "go back to the bible and your pastor."

I kept saying, "Even the pastor can deceive you or be wrong."

And she kept saying "But you are called by God."

She was so sure of my authority. That I couldn't possibly lead her astray because of who I was. That is sooo dangerous.

In the end I had to make it very clear that just because I may have been called to this life I live, that it didn't mean I wouldn't make bad choices and deceive her. Willingly or otherwise.

She didn't like that. But it was true.

Everyone has an oppinion and that's good. But obviously not everyone can be correct.

The thing I want to stress to today is this. Always check the answers yourself. Always go and find out for yourself. Don't just believe the word of the person telling you something. Or the one book you just read. If it matters enough to you that you are considering making decisions based on the information, then go and do the homework.

Let's not have a string of missinformed decisions change the course of our personal histories.

What I say is true. Of course, you won't know for sure until you go back and do the homework.

Don't just take my word for it. I'm just some other bloke saying stuff that might not be true.

But I'm not. It's all true.

Unless it isn't.

But I wouldn't do that.

Or would I?

Hmm...

Have a great night.

Blog 8: What Do We Stand For?

So, wow, the summer has been busy.

And it isn't over yet.

That's more or less my excuse for not posting in forever. Which is really a rotten excuse for skipping out on my peeps.

Am I allowed to use the term "peeps?"
Hmm.

Well, since last time we spoke, I've been to Camp Meeting for a week, then went back to camp to be Camp Pastor for a week.

I have to tell you... Camp Pastor is the best thing ever. I had a ton of fun. It was Junior camp which means the kids were all age 10-12. The kids were fun, the staff was(and still is) fun... I just had a great time.

It was almost like vacation.

I even have a tan now. Sort of.

However, there was one thing that outraged me and it had nothing to do with the people or the camp.

While I was there I had lots of time to talk and goof off with the staffers. Most are either seniors in High School or early in their college years.

A great group of people, all of them.

Over the week, as I talked with them at different points individually, I had asked some of them what the best and worst parts of the summer at camp were for them.

They all had different ideas of what the best parts were.

The kids. The events. The spirituality. Stuff like that.

But when I asked them what the worst part of the summer was, virtually everyone of them said the exact same thing.

Pastor's retreat.

Over the summer, they are their for a week of Camp Meeting, a week of cub camp, 2 weeks of junior camp, 2 weeks of teen camp, a week of spanish camp(should they stay so long), and then the 3 days of Pastor's retreat.

But out of that whole summer, the worst part of it is the 3 days of Pastor's retreat?

Worse than dealing with bed wetting campers? Worse than dealing with camp politics and drama?

Worse than the early mornings and late nights? Worse than dealing with cranky parents and cranky bosses?

Yep. The worst part was dealing with the Pastor's for 3 days out of the summer.

One person said they had never been treated so bad as they had by some of the pastor's during Camp Meeting. And then, having to deal with no one put pastor's for 3 days...

I actually saw it coming. Only because I had heard of some of the things that had happened. But I didn't know it had been bad for so many of them.

As it turned out, I had only heard a small snippet of the things that actually happened. Nothing criminal. Just extreme rudeness and self absorbed entitlement.

Now, don't think I'm being naive. I know that pastor's can be elitist. They can be caught up with themselves and their perceived status. But as I saw it there, the mass effect that it could have had, and maybe still will, it was like a slap in the face.

I was ashamed to be called a pastor.

To be associated with people who undo everything we stand for.

Now, you may be saying, "Um, ya... there are pastor's and priests running around raping young boys, and this is what you get angry about?"

That's fair. I don't have a good reason. Maybe it's because I've never seen the other up close. I'm not sure.

But I saw in my mind what could have been. A group of good people who's spiritual sensability was completely destroyed.

Fortunately, they weren't.

This time.

Now, to be fair, most of the pastor's in my conference are good people. It was only a small handful that were causing problems.

But a small handful is still a handful too many. It is unacceptable.

This made me start thinking about how we treat the people around us in broader terms.

The example I just gave is clearly a christian problem. But the idea behind is not just a christian problem. How many young people went down a path of bad decision making because someone treated them bad at a critical moment? Or, a number of people treated them badly at a number of critical moments?

It's not just in Christianity. People trying so hard to quash certian behaviour go overboard. Or worse, it's just lazy, selfish people wanting to have their way because they think they are special and entitled.

Like those pastors.

Lazy and selfcentered.

As a christian, it is my honor to try to represent God as honestly as possible. It's not easy. Don't let anyone fool you. The bible isn't nearly as clear cut as some would like to say it is. But it's not impossible either.

One of the biggest points of the gospel is that God is easily accessible. He isn't looking to destroy you. He isn't looking to judge you(do not confuse this with ideas of THE judgment. There is a difference between making a final judgment, and being judgmental.)

The gospel isn't about a micromanaged list of good and bads we have done. This is not how God is looking at us.
He sacrificed everything to save us and make it easy for us to find come to Him. Our mistakes are already covered.

So, when I see someone, especially a pastor, behaving in a way that does NOT represent that, it makes me very angry.

The truth is, when a person sees a christian, especially a pastor, the way they are treated by that person reflects directly on how that person perceives God. If the christian is a selfish pompus ass... well, if that's how a christian is, then what kind of God do they serve?

If the christian is running around flaunting their status, or perceived status, being rude, selfish and elitist, how does that make people see God?

How many people have completely left and denounced God, because they saw christians and clergy and said, "if this is what God is like, I want no part in it."?

One is too many. And unfortunately it's alot more than one.

More damage is done to God's cause by christians than almost any other group. We are our own worst enemies.

Every person I have ever met and known who has left the church, I don't care which denomination, has done so first because of how someone treated them. It's only after that do some from that group decide that God doesn't exist.

They don't want me, so God doesn't want me, so I don't want him.

A real God wouldn't act that way and wouldn't allow his followers to do so, therefore God doesn't exist.

Who can blame them?

Why would anyone want to be part of a group of "saints" who treat people worse than the "sinners" do?

It's insanity.

Christians have made it easy for evil to prevail. We make it easy for evil to seem more accessible than good.
Because the "saint" will thumb his nose at your flaws, but the "sinner" won't. The sinner says, "ya, I know what you mean, I sure like the way she looks too."

The saint says, "that's bad, and you're bad."

At least, that is what some christians have caused many to believe.

Jesus said that he accepted us exactly as we are. The bible is clear that we don't have to improve to be accepted by God.

You into smoking crack while having gay sex with prostitutes? (I think I covered almost every stereotypical christian sin there.)

God still accepts you.

Does he want you to stay that way? No.

But that's just common sense. No one else does either. No good atheist parent wants their kid on drugs and sleeping with anything that has a pusle.

But they do accept their kid none the less.

So does God. It's no different. He says, "I want you. Don't worry about taking a shower and changing cloths. Just come here. We can clean you up later."

That's the same thing a parent will do, christian or not.

But this is the God I serve. The one that worries about fixing you later. The one that just wants you to be safe and at home. The one that isn't wagging his finger at you.

Did you ever notice in the story of Abraham and Sodom and Gamorah that God was the one who came to Abraham before destroying them? They were the worst of the worst on the planet, and yet God stopped to talk to Abraham first. Did God need Abrahams permission?

No.

Did God know what Abraham would say?

Yes.

Abraham keeps asking if God will spare them all, if there are X number of people there.

Everytime God doesn't hesitate to say yes.

Then he waited for Abraham to continue.

God only stopped saying yes because Abraham stopped asking Him to spare them.

He was doing two things. One, he was testing Abraham. Two, He was looking for a reason to not destroy a single person.

The situation is more complex than just that, but you can see the pattern.

How about the famous story of the woman caught in adultry who was brought before Jesus? Much time is spent talking about the evil hypocrasy of the pharisees trapping this woman just to trap Jesus.

And rightly so.

But make no mistake. The woman was, in fact, guilty.

And after Jesus thoroughly embarasses her acusers?

He looks around and scratches his head and goes, "Huh. That's odd, where did everyone go? I could have sworn there was a bunch of people here accusing you of something. Do you see any of them now?"

To which she replied, "um, no?"

To which he replied, "Weird. Well, I guess we can all go home now. I'll catch you later, ya? Till then, stay out of trouble and take it easy."

Mind you, this is the same Jesus who said that "judgment has been given to the son(that's him)."

So, to be clear, the one given the task of judging us, isn't actually interested in judging us. Instead he just forgave us and went on his way.

This is the God I serve.

And any one who doesn't represent God in that manner is no servant of God's and has no business claiming to be one.

John said that anyone who does not love the people around him are not from God because God is love.

Go and be that love for someone today.