I was sitting in prayer meeting the other day when it happened. I realized I really really need to take a vacation.
It happened like this.
I have three churches, which means I have three prayer meetings a week. The format for each is the same, but each church is very different. But that doesn't matter for this story.
I start prayer meeting, oddly, with prayer. I ask everyone for things they want to have prayer about. They can be needs, or praises, or thanks... whatever. I write them down to keep track of them, and then we can keep the list going from week to week.
Once we have a list for the evening, then everyone will say a short prayer for the things on our list.
After that is done, which can take anywhere from 30-45 minutes, we will have a bible discussion. A topic or bible passage/chapter will be decided on, then we will read and discuss. It's great because then it's not just me lecturing. Instead we are all learning from each other.
Anyway. We were doing the prayer request portion and it was getting to the point where no one had anything more to add. So I made the last call for requests.
Now, when I make the last call for requests, I give it a few seconds just to make sure no one has anything else to add. I don't want to cut anyone short. Prayer is the most important part of anything anyone can do in their service and relationship with God. I truly believe that will all of my being.
So, when no one spoke up, I let them know we were going to pray, Set down my list and started praying.
I got three words into it, when one lady... you know, the one who apparently is never allowed to talk anywhere else on the planet?, cause she never stops talking? ever?... that lady interupts me three or four words into the prayer and says that she has something else to add to the list. So, I stopped, she expounded about her request, as usual, and then I made another last call for requests. After no response, I start prayer, get about 3 or 4 words in, and again, she says she has another request.
Now, I'm thinking that this is a bit rude, but hey, it's prayer and if someone has something important to share, then it would be wrong to not let her bring before God publically. So I stop and let her give her request.
You are probably thinking that is pretty funny. But would you believe that she did that 2 more times after that before we finally got the prayer going?
I couldn't believe it. I was just sitting there dumbfounded. The last time she interrupted the prayer I yelled at her to shut up already and then I reached across the table and slammed her head right through it.
Ok, that is decidely not true.
However, I wanted to tell her to shut up. But instead I said something else and the tone with which I said it was probably just as bad. When was finished I looked her right in the eyes and said, "Is that all?"
She said, "I think so."
I said, "Are you sure?"
She said, "Yes."
I let my stare linger for a second, then I started prayer.
And it was at that precise moment, that I realized I really really needed a vacation.
I didn't show it outwordly so much, but inside, I was furious. This lady never shuts up unless she gets interrupted. Otherwise, you wait for her to breath, then jump in. And I had just had enough of it.
I've never come that close to losing it with a church member. Even her. She is actually an extremely sweet lady. She doesn't get to talk to people much, and she is always cheery. She didn't deserve my anger.
And I knew it. Even as I was seething inside, I knew it. What was making me mad wasn't her talking. It was the fact that she was slowing me up and I wanted to get it over with already and get home.
And that is WHY I needed the vacation.
When suddenly the very thing you are called to do is an inconvenient annoyance, then something is clearly wrong. I have dealt with people are much more rude and much more annoying, and I've never even hardly so much as blinked at it. But that day I just didn't have it in me.
I was forced to ask why.
This week while I was writing my sermon, I got the answer. You know what's great about working for God? Even as I am trying to teach and help others, God is teaching me even more. It's amazing.
It's humbling.
The answer. It revolves around two words.
"Healing" and "Wings".
There is a story in the book of Matthew about a woman who had a bleeding disorder for twelve years and knowing that she probably wouldn't be able to talk to Jesus, decided that if she could just touch the edge of his cloak, she would be healed.
She did. And, she was.
Let me give you two more words. "Tsitsit" and "Kanaph".
Tsitsit is Hebrew for "fringe or tassel". Kanaph is Hebrew for "corner, edge or wing."
You see, all Jewish men were to where a cloak or covering with tassles on it's wings. The edges of these cloaks were called wings because when a Jewish man prayed, they were to put this cloak, or prayer shawl, over their head, lift their arms up and pray. And when they did, the shawl hung off their arms like wings. So they prayer shawl had tassles on it's wings because God told them to make that way back in the book of Numbers, during the time of Moses.
By now you are wondering what the point is, and will I ever get there? Fair enough.
Jesus, being a law biding Jewish Rabbi would have been wearing one of these. This is important, because in the book of Malachi, the prophet Malachi made a prediction that the Messiah(son of righteousness) would come. And when he did, he would have "healing in his wings." The word for wings there is the same word used for the wings of the shawl. The prophecy of Malachi became a story and legend that the Jews remembered.
So now we fast forward to this bleeding woman. She knows that this man Jesus claims to be the Messiah. And she knows that the prophet Malachi said that the messiah would have healing in his wings. Therefore, if this is true, then all she needs to do is touch the edge of his prayer shawl, his "wings", and she will be healed.
And she was. She showed that she truly believed that this man was the fulfillment of Malachi's prophecy. Many others did, also, because it is mentioned in both Matthew and Mark that many people would come and touch the tassles on his wings and be healed or made whole.
And it's at this point where God taught me something. I had already read about the tassles and the wings and the prophecy of Malachi. But as I was reading these texts in Greek and Hebrew, I saw something I did not expect to see.
In Mark, where I just said that people would come and touch his wings and be healed, the word used there for "healed" is the greek word "sozo."
There is only one problem. The word "sozo" really doesn't mean "healed." It actually means "saved." Literally saved.
The definitions of the word are "saved, salvation, kept from destruction, preserved." It didn't make sense to me. Then I realized that Mark was telling us that everyone who touched Jesus "wings" were saved. They had salvation. They weren't just healed physically, they were healed mind, body and soul. Every fiber of their being was effected.
Jesus told the bleeding woman to go in peace. The Hebrew word for peace is Shalom. But Shalom doesn't just mean the absence of conflict. It means "to be covered in the goodness of God. To be covered with his wholeness and completeness." He told her to go in the completeness of God. He told her that she was now changed mind, body and soul.
Because the Messiah has healing in his wings.
The Messiah has salvation in his wings. To be healed by Jesus is to be saved.
I gave that to my people as part of my sermon. But that sermon was actually for me.
As I mentioned in the last blog, it's been a long year for me. And what I keep forgetting is that, I'm still healing. And I don't mean just physically. Everything I am has been altered. And I'm still adjusting. And I'm still changing. I was saved from death.
And I'm still being saved.
And that is just my story. It's easy to know better. But knowing something isn't the same as believing something. People will go through things in their lives, and when they come through the other side of it, they will think they have finally finished, or that they have arrived.
But it's never true. And I fell into that trap. I was feeling fantastic. My mind was working better. I was feeling like things were getting to be as they should again. And then I realized they weren't.
I was so focused on healing physically, I forgot to deal with the rest of me that needed to heal. And as it turns out, the physical wounds are the easiest to deal with.
True healing is a total, holistic experience. And apparently, I'm much farther from being whole than I thought. But as long as I understand that, it's ok. Because my healing is in Jesus hands.
And Jesus has salvation in his wings.
What kind of healing are you looking for?
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